So yeah I need help with this its due midnight tonight. I posted it once but i guess it got deleted, but i only had one response last time so i really need some now.
Critique for critique! (if you want me to critique back please leave a note in your comment)
All the usual advice and checks will be much appreciated!
246/250 words
Growing up, I fell in love with the adventure stories of characters like Odd Thomas, Rand al'Thor, and Chrestomanci. Inspired by the tales of these courageous and cunning heroes, it became my dream to lead a life never lived before. I refused to settle for mediocrity; I won't let myself just get by. I believe that in order to live life to the fullest, I have to use all my talents and knowledge, all of who I am, to do something great. Yet I also understand that by myself, I lack both experience and knowledge that I will need in order to take full advantage of life. Thus, I hope to learn from others new outlooks and opinions, so that I may become a more well rounded and knowledgeable character.
Because I was especially influenced by the idea of protecting others and want to bring balance to the world like the characters I admired, my sights have been gravitating towards a future in the justice system, possibly in a federal law enforcement agency or maybe as an attorney. And even though I realize my plans could change at any moment, I know that no matter what happens, I plan on living life in a way no one else can, so that I'll leave my own unique imprint on the world. My dream is to live a life worthy of being read about, and maybe, just maybe, my life will inspire someone else to do the same.
I think it is great that you have incorpotaed the answers fairly smoothly in your essay. I think:"I refuse to settle for mediocrity; I won't let myself just get by. I believe that in order to live life to the fullest, I have to use all my talents and knowledge, all of who I am, to do something great." is kind of repetitive because it expresses the same idea and you kind of want to save some words so you can convey more ideas in a 250-word essay.
Anyway, well done! and good luck!
I don't really see how you explain the "best way to share your perspective" Though you want to be a judge, a judge is supposed to rule from the Constitution of the federal and state governements, not your own personal opinions. Try to find a way to show how you would share your perspective with the world.
Overall, good rough draft. Please review/edit mine in return--it's due at midnight!
