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"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you" -Personal Statement on major


gabshel 3 / 7  
Oct 2, 2010   #1
Prompt: "Education and Life: A Personal Statement." In this essay you should discuss your educational goals, including why you wish to study your chosen major.

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are." -Bernice Johnson Reagon

I sat quietly and looked at the confused faces around the table staring at me. That was the response I received when I first shared the idea that I wanted to major in the field of either exercise science or nutrition. I understood this confusion. I was suffering from anorexia and compulsive exercise, put in an overnight rehab clinic, and I was in my first group therapy session expressing the idea of being a nutrition or exercise science major. Looking back, I know that sounded absurd. How could one who obviously does not know the proper way to eat or exercise succeed in a career centered on those ideas? However, like the quote mentions, I did not think of my eating disorder as a challenge which would "paralyze" me. I took this difficult and painful experience and tried turning it into something positive. Throughout my rehabilitation experience, I only thought of it as a bump in the road, and i began to discover who I am.

As someone with a complicated background, I believe I have much to offer to others in the community. I am quiet and reserved to people who do not know me; however, my friends, family, and anyone else meet describe me as loud, silly, and energetic. The idea of pursuing a career in on of these majors really excites me because after spending months in the center for my disorder, I want to give back and share all that I have learned through those months, as well as the years before, after and during my anguish.

i feel like i should add more.
any edits welcome!!
is there another direction i should go?

THANK YOU TO ANY COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, EDITS, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
xphara 1 / 5  
Oct 2, 2010   #2
It's a good essay, good topic. It is a little short though, what is the word count supposed to be? Perhaps you could elaborate on your struggle to overcome your anorexia and really key into your triumph. That would make your success seem even more admirable. Other than that, really great job!
OP gabshel 3 / 7  
Oct 3, 2010   #3
thank you! there is no minimum word count, but it can be up to 32,000 characters. Which is a lot, so I know I need to add more, just was not sure where and what I should expand on
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 5, 2010   #4
As someone with a complicated background, I believe I have much to offer to others in the community.

I like this. This is a nice way of expressing it, very cool.

Okay, so my advice is to not say "either."
Boldly assert your intention so learn both exercise science and nutrition, because time is on your side and your intentions are aligned with these excellent fields.

Get specific, and cite articles about new research. owever, my friends, family, and anyone else meet describe me as loud, silly, and energetic. This part is a distraction. You have the right idea, so be confident. Write what you intend.
OP gabshel 3 / 7  
Oct 8, 2010   #5
thank you! i really appreciate the advice.
what do you mean by "cite articles about new research"?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 11, 2010   #6
Citing an article means mentioning it. If I was writing this, I might look at 3 or 4 articles written in the past few years about research studies done to add to our knowledge about particular kinds of exercise and nutrition... know what I mean? If you are interested in the fields, you probably read about current research studies.

:-)
Priyanka3 6 / 17  
Oct 11, 2010   #7
Hi, I definitely like the topic. Its not cliche and is well written about. The length is a bit short though so maybe you could expand on your rehabitilation experience. How you grew from it and turned it into something positive. I also agree with Kevin in doing research, but good luck! :)


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