"life can change in an instant" - Trying to shorten my Penn State essay

so the character limit is 1200 and i have about 1733 and i need this essay shortened. also feel free to edit my essay in any way to help me out a bit. thanks!!

Prompt: Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or high school record.

Essay:
Growing up in a developing country run by criminals and plagued by corruption made me realize how much I have learned from the many challenges I have faced. Nonetheless, my time spent in Venezuela and having to face the test of adapting to a new culture taught me various lessons that helped me grow into the person I am today.

Witnessing how life can change in an instant was an enormous learning experience. My entire life was altered when my home country was taken over by corruption and crime. Not being able to live a safe, regular life ultimately forced my parents to move to the United States.

Moving was a tremendous adjustment. I was not only faced with a change in location but being eight years old, the challenges of learning a whole new culture and adapting to a strange new environment made settling down difficult. My biggest fear was that my friends would label me as "different" but I learned that they appreciated my diverse culture as much as I appreciated theirs. Ranging from the variety of latin foods like arepas that I offered them or eating turkey over a friends house during thanksgiving I managed to teach them about my culture as much as I learned from theirs.

I believe that the experiences I have faced will allow me to introduce a new and diverse culture to Penn State. The unrivaled career opportunities offered at Penn State will allow me to build and share new experiences with the astute individuals in this university that will accompany me for the rest of my life. So whether it is from my Hispanic mouth watering foods or getting some world-renowned ice cream at the Penn State creamery I am convinced that no other university is a better fit for me than the honorable Pennsylvania University.

Didn't you say that in the first paragraph already?


ranging from...to eating (btw, you shouldn't do parallel structure with a noun (variety) and a progressive verb (eating)).


I don't get why you chose to talk about career/internships over clubs and other stuff if you want to focus on "sharing new experiences with astute individuals in the Uni", since you're more likely to go out for internships, not within the school


I noticed the link to food, but this comes from no where. I'd rather talk about your second part, on the career opportunities or whatever you choose to focus on


honorable makes you sound like a...sycophant. I'd choose a word that sound less like "awesome" and more meaningful.
also, it's Penn State University, not Pennsylvania U (if i'm wrong here, ignore me). It would be confused with U of Penn

i cant believe i didnt see that mistake in the end, thanks dude you saved me! all those corrections will be applied now :)