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'life's conundrums and complications' - So where is Waldo, really? UChicago


Jayashree95 4 / 19  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
Stop. Look around for a moment. What do you see? No, I don't mean the imposing pile of applications lying at your desk or the equally harried admission officer beside you. Look beyond the obvious.

Picturise your surroundings as a highly organized concatenation of atoms; minuscule particles, beyond the scope of stereoscopic human vision. Every single particle, person or place is made of atoms of different kinds! Afterall, aren't we all essentially made of the same constituents: Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen and other prominent residents of the Periodic Table? Akin to finding the Ultimate Question, to which the answer is the unassuming 42, where would you possibly find that metaphysical representation of what makes Waldo,Waldo?

The 'Waldo Factor', as I'd like to call it, would have probably become the Higgs Boson of our generation. I say would have, because the closest we can get to identifying a miniature physical representation of ourselves lies in the genetic code. This seemingly innocuous but perplexingly complex code explains why we are what we are; with our quirks and eccentricites that define us. Pioneered by Watson, Crick and Wilkin, it took years of research, international collaborations and is certainly no mean feat; for it explained the fundamental structure responsible for individuality.

So the Waldo Factor is essentially an aggregation of atoms, differing only slightly from our own genetic structure and composition. This technically means that there is a bit of Waldo in all of us, just as there is a bit of us in Waldo. Waldo is within us and represents our travails and tribulations; Only if choose to look at it from such a perspective.

The answers to life's conundrums and complications lies within us. If we dig deeper, aim higher, try harder and look deeply, slowly but surely there's a solution.

After groping in the darkness, a little introspection always helps to find light at the end of the tunnel.
ldirkx 1 / 6 1  
Oct 24, 2012   #2
Wow. You blew this prompt completely out of the water. As I read, my jaw dropped (which is always a good sign). Your approach to the prompt is very unique and ties in with your interests (Biology/Physics I assume) which is an excellent aspect for an essay to have. Technically, the essay is superb, the only criticism I would offer pertains to the allusions. With a science background, I understood the examples yet an admission rep may not. You don't want them to have to google what you are alluding to in order to understand the essay. The scientific portion is a nice touch, but may come off as 'boasting' your knowledge of that topic, and college reps hate when applicants "b-word". Just some things to keep in mind... Overall, a remarkably eloquent response to a seemingly mindless prompt!

If you could read my common app essay and offer criticism that would be much appreciated :)
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Oct 24, 2012   #3
Great essay! Just a few grammatical errors:

Afterall, aren't we all

should be "After all, aren't we all"

representation of what makes Waldo,Waldo?

should be "representation of what makes Waldo, Waldo?"

I say would have, because the closest we

should be "I say would have because the closest we" No comma needed.

Pioneered by Watson, Crick and Wilkin, it took years of research, international collaborations and is certainly no mean feat

should be "Pioneered by Watson, Crick and Wilkin, it took years of research, international collaborations and was certainly no mean feat." Should stay in past-tense.

Waldo is within us and represents our travails and tribulations; Only if choose to look at it from such a perspective.

should be "Waldo is within us and represents our travails and tribulations; only if we choose to look at it from such a perspective."

Great work!
ramenbowl95 5 / 8  
Oct 24, 2012   #4
First of all thanks for critiquing on my piece! I responded to you on it, so check it out!

"Look beyond the obvious."
When I read that, I felt like the admissions officer may take offense in that. I read it along the lines as, "Are you stupid?" Maybe it's just me.

You should ask some other people about that for their opinion!

"If we dig deeper , aim higher, try harder and look deeply ..."
You used the base word, deep, twice in the same sentence. Maybe you could find another word for one of them.

Other than that, I thought your piece was concise and well written.
Good luck on the whole process!
OP Jayashree95 4 / 19  
Oct 24, 2012   #5
Oh yes! Thanks for that. Veryvalid! I'll do something about them! @ramenbowl95
Thanks others too,
I look forward to some more feedback. :-)
lsimpson 2 / 5  
Oct 24, 2012   #6
Awesome essay! I choose the same prompt and you definitely took it an unique (which to this school is abundantly important) direction. I agree with what Idirkx said about boasting. I would scratch "as I'd like to call it". When I read that part it did come off like you had theorized something groundbreaking. That's just my opinion and if you like it then keep it!
xzzx 1 / 3  
Oct 27, 2012   #7
thanks for your critique on my essay

i love your essay! this is a completely unique take and it's very intellectual. I don't think you need to change the allusions to scientific facts cuz i dont have a scientific background but i can still somehow figure out what you mean. You have explained those facts very clearly. So nice work


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