Drugs have always surrounded me; I was born from them, lived with them and time and time again, had to make the choice between what is easy and what is right. I was conceived mere weeks after my mother and father finished rehab and was less than four when my father fell back into that destructive habit. Once upon a time I saw him every day; I laughed and played with him. He was my hero, someone who could do no wrong. He made my eyes light up and made my feet move- never fast enough- to catch him.
I have not seen my dad for months, even though we live less than five miles apart. There is no wife or children distracting him, no important work- as he is practically jobless- nothing but his drink and his drugs. I use to look at him with sparkles in my eyes but now I just shake my head, wondering just how long ago he became like this and how long I have hidden it from myself. He is a wondrous person, kind and comical and can befriend just about everyone, but he is weak and falls into temptation easily. I cannot force him to change and so I must sit and watch heartbroken as he follows those darkened paths.
As my relationship with my father slowly crumbled, my mother began to see other people and by age 12, I had a four year old half-sister, three step-brothers and one step-sister. I began to look up to my step father, even though I fiercely clung to the fact that he was not my father and therefore could never be as amazing, and began to trust him until he, too, fell into drugs.
Cocaine, the drug that has made my life hell, took ahold of our family once again. My stepfather became enraged, breaking into our house when we were gone. He stole all our prized belongings and made my mom and I live in fear. It seemed to be a repeat of my past; my sister was now suffering the same fate I had. I remember when she came up to me and asked, "Why isn't daddy coming home?" How do you explain to a four year old that her father would never return? That we had received a restraining order after he slashed our lights and car tires and eventually had to move?
I was forced to grow up- way too early for any child- to take care of my sister, to cook, and to clean. My mother was suddenly trying to support two children alone, no help from either of the fathers. I struggled in my beginning high school years, to help my mother and to do well in school.
I always knew that drugs were present in the school but it was still a shock when I returned for my junior year to find that most of my friends had smoked pot and you could walk down the halls and see drug deals happening. I wondered how I never noticed it before and the answer was simple: when you do not wish to see, you can ignore everything until it smacks you in the face.
I befriended drug deals, drug users and did not judge, I just quietly denied anytime they offered me drugs but it was my closest friends that made it hard to say no. I know just how easy it is to fall into that path; it is the problem with our generation and of the human race. We see our friends do drugs and see nothing bad happen; we trust them and know it can't hurt. It's just one time, over and over again, we would say. In the back of our mind, we might know that it's dangerous but just one more time cannot hurt. We are curious to see how it feels and why it was dubbed illegal? We rebel against the law, our parents and our teachers and in a way we think ourselves as invincible; we are teenagers, young and pure, nothing could go wrong. We never realize when we cross that fine line, between causal use and addiction, until it's too late.
In the end, I watch as all four of my step-siblings never finish college, too caught up in partying and the life of drugs, many of the people I knew in high school in the same predicament and I wonder what can we do? I see our generation, just like the generations before it, getting addicted to drugs, ruin lives and cause billions of dollars. Our jails are overrun by drug addicts and Mexico is tearing apart because of them. The human race is too curious; they are never going to just go away and if the public wants them, people will make them. Do we legalize all drugs to stop the gangs? Do we threaten long amounts of time for drug users? I do not know. All I know is we need to be there to catch them when they fall.
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I am writing my essay for UT, which is due in like three days (Whoops... ><) But in the last week I wrote it. I was wondering if someone could read it and help me with grammar and just overall what could be improved. Thank you :D
I'm doing the Personal Essay from University of Texas - In Austin;
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
made my eyes light up and made my feet move- never fast enough- to catch him.
Wow, very good here...
As my relationship with my father slowly crumbled, my mother began to see other people, and ...---I added a comma.
In the end, I watch as all four of my step-siblings never finish college----It is awkward here, because you can't currently be watching something never happen. It could happen in the future.
... too caught up in partying and the life of drugs, many of the people I knew in high school in the same predicament and I wonder what can we do? ---And here, it becomes a run on sentence. You need to start a new sentence with "Many..."
This essay covers SO many topics... from drugs to family issues to the resolve to finish school... what is the main theme? You sort of decrease the power of the essay by referring generally to "drugs" when you could specify. Good writing is detailed. But as you revise, keep your purpose in mind. What is the main message you want to plant in the reader's mind? Give that message at the end of the first paragraph or at the end of the last paragraph (or both).
Another aspect you might want to revise a little is the way you compare yourself to those lesser students who give in and don't prevail, etc., and you have to catch them when they fall. It is better to talk about your intellectual goals than to compare yourself so much with them.
:-)
