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'Life in a honest world' - my essay for University of California


hshsteven 2 / 3  
Nov 23, 2012   #1
Please give me some advice!! And I will definitely read yours...

Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

"No, I won't help you." I said firmly to a friend sitting next to me with the most miserable expression I had ever seen. It was not that I did not want to help him. It was because it was in an exam room. If not, I was eager to sit next to him side-by-side and try to help him the easy calculus problems that seemed difficult at first.

"The proctor is not in the room at the moment. Please do me this favor!"
"No!"
I know the importance of friendship and the power of relationship, but there was something more crucial and critical that sometimes I must sacrifice others in order to maintain it -- honesty.

I come from a middle school that taught me the importance and the value of honesty. And that is the community I come from and I am very grateful for that. My middle school valued honesty as the first rule and made it thrive in every corner on campus. For example, there were no proctors during exams, no matter how important the tests were. So that every exam tested both students' knowledge and personality. Living and studying in such a community enhanced my moral understanding and the true value of life: resist the short-term gain of deceit because honesty pays off in big dividends in the long run.

I choose not to help my friend during exams because I understand the value of honesty and that not only I would be guilty of cheating but that it would also harm my friend by preventing him from thinking independently and trying to study and work for his own future. I believe the survival of a society as a whole depends very much on its honest level, no matter whether the issue of honesty is big or small. I know it is true that there are more serious deceptions taking place in my country as well as the rest of the world. How can people believe someone who has broken his promises for many times? How can people trust someone who can easily vacillate and betray in front of good-looking scores, money and fame? How can people lent money to someone who does not pay back the sum he or she borrowed? When people loose their honest credit in their society, there is nothing they can do because the rest of the world is watching them with eyes of doubt, distrust, and even disdain.

I always have a dream to establish and live in a honest world. Because in a such society with no deceptions such as briberies, business cheating, counterfeit products, not only can transactions be made more frequently and safely, government run more efficiently, and people have a higher quality of products, but most importantly people can live in a world without distrust.

I choose to be honest and to act upon honest decisions, and I believe my community and the world choose the same.
MariettaA 2 / 12  
Nov 23, 2012   #2
I choose <<<chose>>not to help my friend during exams because I understand .... How can people lent<<<lend>>> money to someone who does not pay back the sum he or she borrowed?

I think your essay is well written, it has a voice! The only improvement would be to tell how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations clearly in the conclusion. But great overall!

(Can you review mine please)


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