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"Life moves pretty fast..." - review my Villanova University Supplement Essay


supreeth97 4 / 8 1  
Sep 29, 2014   #1
Villanova University
Emblazoned on our University Seal is a flaming heart which symbolizes St. Augustine's passionate search to know God and love others. What sets your heart on fire?

As aptly stated in one of my favorite movies of all time, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." This brilliant quote, appropriately declared by the protagonist, Ferris Bueller, made me think that there are numerous moments in life that are completely overlooked, because we aren't paying attention, and the fact that this kind of thing happens on a daily basis sets my heart ablaze.

I once visited New York City on a family day trip. During the journey, I was told about how great the city known as The Big Apple is and as a result, my expectations were raised. I remember walking through the Financial District when I noticed something; people were either walking or talking, never did I see someone who truly appreciated things that were constantly happening around them, prompting me to wonder "Can we, as individuals, ever reach our destination without ever fully experiencing how we got there?"

Since a young age I've been vigilant towards my surroundings. I noticed streetlights, graffiti on the walls of abandoned buildings, smell of the passing boats and of course people. Now, these little tidbits may seem unimportant to most people, but to me, they are as important as your morning coffee. Witnessing these familial signals, I get overcome with a rush of happiness, similar to winning a game. Habitually associating these cues with my daily routine, it would've thrown me off my game if they were to suddenly become absent.

From the odoriferous pile of fish on a boat to the obscene expletives painted on walls, these "sparks" that might seem trite are of great importance to my life. They set my heart on fire. These minute events have an extreme impact on my life, much like how without tiny separate puzzle pieces, you couldn't create a beautiful mosaic. After all, all it takes is a tiny spark to kindle a roaring flame.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 29, 2014   #2
Supreeth, your essay is heading in 2 different directions at the moment. Making it difficult to find the focus of your paper. First you talk about ;

"Can we, as individuals, ever reach our destination without ever fully experiencing how we got there?"

But then you never followed through on that discussion. I thought that this question was the introduction to that person, place, thing, or action that sets your heart on fire. Instead, you introduce us to something new that is almost unrelated to the question you posed.

Suddenly, we are in New York and learning about your visit there. You let us into your world by telling us about topics and situations that affect you. Yet you never really discuss how these little peeves manage to strike up a fire in your heart. I suggest that you choose the one thing that truly riles you up. Something that you feel you have to do something about or are actually doing something about already. That way you can fully develop your answer to the prompt in such a manner that your concern and fire, the passion that you have for that task of advocacy will shine through.


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