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'Life without music would be a mistake' - NYU Supplement #2 What intrigues you?


steveandimrad 2 / 2  
Oct 9, 2012   #1
Nietzsche once said "Without music, life would be a mistake." Music is the harmony of the world, crafted by man to create a myriad of sensations. The score during the climax of a movie, the homeless man singing for his next meal, the prelude to a well-known concerto-music defines some of the most monumental impressions on people. Music has always been my life's biggest passion, and continues to bring my world to new heights. When I hear music, I see bright, vivid colors. I analyze the smallest details of a musical piece down to the most subtle instrument. Noticing new components of a song that aren't typically heard during the first few plays, for me, is like an archaeologist finding a bone in a desert. Music is a messenger of emotions, simple yet complex, and indescribable by all accounts. I remember the first time I heard Chopin's Tristesse; I was in a car with my friends, and it was so heartbreakingly beautiful that I tried to hide my tears. However, I soon realized there was not a dry eye in the car. Whenever I'm feeling stressed, I escape the pressures of reality and become lost in music. I take a ride on a roller coaster of emotions as musical notes bring me from a state of pure calmness to a state of adrenaline. When the music ends, my mind feels cleansed and ready to get back into the loop of things. I run to music, study to music, release anger to music, yell in joy to music, and live to music.

Jordan Zhu - / 2  
Oct 9, 2012   #2
Your description of music is incredibly deep; a little too deep.

The abstract descriptions of musical components ("Noticing new components of a song that aren't typically heard during the first few plays", "Music is a messenger of emotions", " I escape the pressures of reality and become lost in music") It's a good essay, but difficult to relate to because not everyone might relate to your description of music the same way you do. Getting rid of some of the abstract descriptions of music and showing how its as you think of it will help.

Expanding more of about the tearful camaraderie you felt listening to Chopin's Tristesse and making that the central story you use as an example of music's ability to move you would be easier to relate to. Also, describing the pressures of reality (are you a deep sea diver resurfacing trying not to get the bends?) and how music lets you escape from them would have more impact as well.

Also, as a small detail, you might want to add how you can think up or recall a nice tune in your head without headphones and an iPod. Because in the last sentence, it seems like you're just another teenager who is constantly plugged into his iPod who walks blatantly uninterested in the world around them.

"When the music ends, my mind feels cleansed and ready to get back into the loop of things. I run to music, study to music, release anger to music, yell in joy to music, and live to music."
SpicyCurryMan 2 / 9  
Oct 9, 2012   #3
Contrary to the user above, I love the abstract descriptions! It shows you insight and deep knowledge.
tnterror 2 / 2  
Oct 10, 2012   #4
i like the concept of the passage, however it is too vague. you often state that music helps you, that music is your escape. the prompt wants you to explain one piece of music or art, in this case you have already chosen a piece; just expand on that. it will show your depth rather than your breadth. Deepen your knowledge and inspiration of Chopin's Tristesse and you will be golden.


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