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what is life to me??? opportunity to dream and make them a reality


mnkumar1984 1 / 1  
Nov 28, 2012   #1
hi there , I would like to apply for one of the colleges in India. i just finished writing this essay. actually this is supposed to a video essay.Please help me edit. Please feel free to offer any advice or suggestions. Thanks a ton for reading!

WHAT IS LIFE TO ME? WELL TO ANSWER THIS I MUST CITE SOME IMPORTANT INCIDENCES THAT MADE ME UNDERSTAND WHAT IS LIFE AND SHAPED ME INTO THE PERSON I AM TODAY.

SINCE MY CHILDHOOD, I'VE LIVED A CONTENTED LIFESTYLE. I'VE BEEN AN INTELLIGENT STUDENT AND PARTICIPATED IN MANY EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITES DURING SCHOOL. I HAD STRUGGLES BUT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR TROUBLED ME A LOT. THOUGH MY PARENTS EARNED LITTLE, THEY FULFILLED OUR WISHES ALL THE TIME. I COULD HELP MY FAMILY DURING SCHOOLING BY TUTORING MY JUNIORS. SO THE WAY I LOOKED AT LIFE WAS LIKE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY.

MY FIRST REAL EXPERIENCE OF LIFE STARTED WHEN I FELL ILL AND MY LEFT LEG GOT OPERATED. I HAD LEFT THEM A HUGE DEBT AND MADE THEM LOOSE 3 YEARS TO STRUGGLE. BUT I FEEL VERY THANKFUL TO THEM ( EVEN MY BROTHER. I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT BROTHERS WOULD THAT MCUH) FOR ALL THE CARE THEY HAD SHOWN TO ME.

AFTER 12TH STANDARD, I DREAMT OF JOINING A MECHANICAL COURSE AND BECOMING AN AERONAUTICAL ENGINEER. I COULD CHERISH MY DREAM BY JOINING A MECHANICAL COURSE IN GRADUATION BUT COULDN'T CONTINUE THE JOY AS I DIDN'T SCORE GOOD MARKS. I REALISED THE SAME WHEN I ENTERED 4TH YEAR OF GRADUATION AND WENT CHAOTIC. I HAD ALSO THOUGHT OF DOING MS IN US TO BACKUP MY GRADUATION. BUT MY FATHER FELL ILL, LOST HIS JOB AND MY FAMILY NEEDED MY FINANCIAL SUPPORT. NO SOONER, MY PROJECT MANAGER WHOM I CONSIDER HIM AS A MY MENTOR OF ALL TIME REFERRED ME TO JOIN A SMALL COMPANY WHICH MAKES AEROSPACE COMPONENTS. I FELT VERY HAPPY JUST BECAUSE I WAS CLOSE TO ACCOMPLISHING MY DREAM AS AN AEROSPACE COMPONENT MAKER THOUGH I JUST EARNED ONLY MY BREAD FOR A WHILE. IN THE DUE COURSE, I LEARNED WHAT I LEFT IN GRADUATION. EVENTUALLY I GREW IN MY COMPANY AND COULD SUPPORT MY FAMILY WELL.

BUT BACKING UP MY GRADUATION IS STILL A DREAM AND WOUDLD LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH IT BY JOINING IN ISB. I WOULD LIKE TO OPT MANUFACTURING BASED COURSES SO THAT I WOULD SERVE THE SAME FOR REST OF MY LIFE. SIMULTANEOUSLY, IT WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE TO ACCOMPLISH MY DREAM OF BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENUER IN MY FIELD.

SO THESE ARE FEW INCIDENCES THAT MADE ME SEE THE DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OF LIFE. TODAY I FEEL LIFE IS AN OPPURTUNITY TO DREAM AND MAKE THEM A REALITY, SEE AMAZING PEOPLE LIKE MY FAMILY, MY MENTORS, EXPERIENCE UPS AND DOWNS, CARE FOR THE SOCIETY YET HAPPY-GO-LUCKY

Tia T Thomas - / 1  
Nov 29, 2012   #2
The essay seems great except a few grammatical errors:
3rd paragraph-4th sentence *much
5th paragraph-1st sentence *would


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