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Essay about life - Pose a question and answer it.


hasnaahmed 3 / 21  
Dec 2, 2008   #1
*Is my question interesting?
Do i need to mention Leo Tolstoy in the essay?
How is the opening sentence and the closing sentence? I feel it's all over the place.------------
ESSAY

When is the most important time? Birth or death; present or future, I do not know what is correct. I used to wonder about the question that made me think about the worldly life and the spiritual life. Is there any specific correct answer for this question? Leo Tolstoy posed the question in "The Emperors Three Question". After reading the article, I wonder about the truth. My own experience has made me understand the most valuable time of a person's life. I feel my experiences have given me the answer to this question.

Life is like a building. The more a person uses his time successfully the better the building becomes. Every building needs a strong base to have a better construction. Like the base of a building, a successful life needs a successful base. The base building of life is present. Present is the most valuable and important time for everyone's life.

Kazi Nazrul Islam is a legendary poet, musician, revolutionary and philosopher of Bengali literature whom I consider as a lodestar. His life lesson has taught me how to cope with present to visualize a bright future. He was very poor. He could not finish high school but his great works are still alive. He did not have money but he did not give up. He continued to write poetry and song to influence people. The Bengali society had many violations and he spoke out against everything. He was a rebel who made all people rebel along with his works. He worked hard for present, which has given us a good society. All the great people throughout history have made the best use of their present and existing time. That contribution made their life valuable and immortal.

Life has a different meaning for each person. "Forget about the calendar or watch, use your time as much as you can, who knows how long you are living, make the best out of what you have now, and don't wonder about a miracle to happen in life". This is the moral lesson I have learned from the question. I do not want to waste any time in my life and always wonder about the most important time of life. I am the person to choose the most valuable moment of my life.

Coming in this world as a newborn is an important time, last moment of earthly life is an important time but the most important time is only present. Past is a waste and Future is a mystery, Present is the time to create a history. All the great philosophers of history have utilized their present to get immortal life. I do not want to wonder anymore about a mystery. Present is real and I want to follow the real path.
nguyend 2 / 4  
Dec 3, 2008   #2
This is an interesting questions topic for your essay. In my opinion your opening is good, and your closing is even better. The second paragraph seems out of place with the third.

Hope that helps a bit!
jenchow1992 6 / 14  
Dec 3, 2008   #3
Hi I like you overall meaning of the essay, it makes great pionts but one thing is that you should work on transitions to make sure every paragraph transitions smoothly into the the one following it. I had the same problem a while ago and they said it looked like i had 4 different sories instead of one essay. Im sure when you get some good transitions in there you would have an overall strong essay.

PS: I've seen some of your responses on others peoples essay and i was wondering if you would mind looking over mine ? =) It is called " Saih maht geanguh" and it can be found when you click on the threads i posted on my member link =) Thanks
OP hasnaahmed 3 / 21  
Dec 3, 2008   #4
Thanks for your comment. I will work on my essay to make it better.
OP hasnaahmed 3 / 21  
Dec 3, 2008   #5
I need help ASAP.
My deadline is coming up.

I am not happy with this essay. can anyone help me to connect my body paragraph smoothly?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 3, 2008   #6
I used to wonder about the questions that made me think about worldly life and the spiritual life.

The base building of life is like the present moment. The present moment is the most valuable and important time for everyone's life.

Ohhhh... the nice thing about your essay is that the paragraphs are written as separate thoughts, so you can try putting them in a different order. I almost started to do it for you, but there are a few different ways you could rearrange them to make it more clear. I understand what you mean about it being all over the place... now it is time to move the paragraphs around and find the sequence you like best.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 3, 2008   #7
Also, I think the closing paragraph is really great.

Just be clear by writing "the present," or "the present moment," rather than simply "present."

One more way to improve it is to add one sentence to the opening paragraph and the closing paragraph: this sentence should tell how Nazrul and Tolstoy are relevant to the essay's theme.
vkwang 7 / 16  
Dec 7, 2008   #8
this is a really good essay and i found nothing wrong with the revision :D


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