1. Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: ''Why Tufts?'' (Suggested length is 50-100 words.)
In retrospect, the unique perspectives that I have gained from living in Asia have made me more accepting and aware as a person. This makes the existing diverse community at Tufts very important to me. Additionally, Tufts offers a plethora of student organizations to join and get involved. The Institute of Political Citizenship will grant me opportunities to interact with leaders in public policy and get practical experience through internships, which would prepare me for a future in the judiciary. And with no core curriculum at Tufts, I will be free to study international economics in addition to political science.
2. There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood, or community- and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
"___ (insert my name here)"
I remember being ordered by my mom to join swim team in the 3rd grade. Pulled and dragged, I finally demanded a black Tweety bird pen as a reward. As I weaved through the dark green gates outside the pool, I was greeted by cold stares and empty looks. I was an outsider. To make matters worse, I suddenly froze with fear at the deep end of the pool while doing my first lap. I left the pool discouraged, telling myself that I'd never do swim team again.
It is ironic how I now miss seeing my swim team family daily. The smell of chlorine on our skin and the 6 AM practices that we have endured every Wednesday has bound us together. I have been able to count on the swim community for laughter and acceptance through all the chaos that has come with moving to Asia and back the U.S multiple times. Whether it has been a good or bad day, somehow those tedious freestyle sets, the seemingly endless staring at the white bottom of the pool, and the continual reminders I make to remind people to circle swim make me feel better. I belong at the pool with my mirrored goggles on, swimming hard, channeling the frustration of even the worst day into a faster 50-meter freestyle time. And even if I do feel like an outsider at times, a quick glance around to see everyone suffering together makes me grin. Through swim team I have become more responsible and have realized that nothing great comes without effort.
please provide good constructive criticism and i'll do the same for u.
Your writing is good. Here are my suggestions.
Your first paragraph doesn't really convey to me what you felt about swimming. Did you hat that you were forced to join swim because of your mom? Was it this fact that made you uncomfortable (you didn't want to be there therefore you felt like everyone was watching you).
Also this sentence To make matters worse, I suddenly froze with fear at the deep end of the pool while doing my first lap.. I definitely think you can use some sort of imagery here. It sounds like you felt like an iceberg floating in the water.
One more thing. This sentence Through swim team I have become more responsible and have realized that nothing great comes without effort. doesn't do anything for your essay. It felt like you tried to squeeze it in at the end to give it more meaning, but in fact, it blunts the main focus of your essay.
hey, that's great feedback. I appreciate it.
DO you think I would be able to answer the prompt (the swimming one) well without the last sentence? You got me, I totally had to add that in because I felt like I did not answer the prompt well.
cheers :D
Just a quick thing on your why Tufts essay.
The line : Additionally, Tufts offers a plethora of student organizations to join and get involved.
It doesn't really add anything. If the organization you're primarily interested in is the Institute of Political Citizenship, you can probably just transition directly to it. A better use of the characters might be to add another specific activity, sport or club that Tufts offers. Just saying that Tufts has a large amount of student organizations doesn't make your interest specific to Tufts. It could apply to any college, really.
My two cents.
i am sorry but i feel the first paragraphe is poor... u can take these words from wikipedia or any website... what do u love about tufts ? TUFTS ... u was so generic
with your type of grammar and spelling I don't know if I should even believe that I saw a comment
