Feel free to offer any advice or suggestions the statement. Any criticism is much appreciated.
Ever since I was a young boy, I have always liked to explore. As a toddler, my parents would find me in places around the house I wasn't supposed to be. As a young child, I would take my bike and ride around the neighborhood for hours until either I became exhausted or my chain broke. Now as a teenager, I'll take my father's car, or if I am really lucky, my mother's minivan. With each rite of passage, I was given more freedom to investigate, and Penn State will give me the opportunity to explore further than any car could take me. Finding something unexplored excites me. This characteristic of my personality has helped me greatly and the experiences I have gained have been irreplaceable.
At the age of six, I naively wandered off in Disney World. I had meshed into a large crowd of people while trying to get a better look at Mickey, and became virtually invisible to my parents. I soon realized what had just happened and when I turned around to look for them, they were not there. My heart pounded and my mind raced and I'll admit it, I cried. With tears streaming down my puffy red cheeks I trotted back towards the spot I last saw them. Then, magically I spotted my mother nervously standing on top of a bench to get a better look. It was as if I had parted the Red Sea as I sprinted over to her, wiping the snot and tears onto my sleeve. This experience only lasted for about 5 minutes, but it is one of the few experiences I remember vividly. Though my own ingenuity, I found my way back without help, and believe this short exploration has helped make me who I am today.
This desire to pursue new things and discover experiences is exactly why Penn State is the perfect place for me. Although the large number of students and enormous campus may scare others away, I see this as a huge adventure. At first, I'll admit, even I was tentative about the size. This feeling soon changed after visiting the campus and spending 2 days in the town. By walking around the campus its surroundings, I realized the cohesiveness and the unity present everywhere I went. All of a sudden, the daunting school with over 40,000 students became cozy and comfortable. The endless number of clubs, intramural and club sports, and events going on in the school make it the perfect place to spend four years. Also, since Penn State offers almost every imaginable major, it will give me a chance to explore my various interests before deciding which one I would like to pursue. The academic challenge in addition to the huge selection of social aspects Penn State will definitely allow me to take part in as much as I can and truly experience everything that Penn State stands for.
This is very plain, without anything that really suggests that you are thinking deeply about things. It would be great if you had ideas in mind for what your major might be, because that would show that you have been thinking about life and work and what you want to do.
I think there is too much discussion of the size of the school... it is a superficial attribute.
Get focused on what is important to you. People are suffering out there in the world, and the work you do is going to be important.
I like this a lot, but it might be too long for the Penn State Personal Statement.
Instructions for Completing the Personal Statement:
When completing the personal statement, please note that there is a limit of 1200 spaces and characters
As of now, you probably have over 2,000. Try cutting down on superfluous words.
Good luck!!
Thanks Daniel. It looks like they may have changed the requirements. The instructions now state:
Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.
