"I like learning." - Why Brown? - Brown Supplement

This is my Why Brown? essay. Please be harshly critical with it, and thank you in advance.
Its 1071 characters, so I do need to thin it out a little

Thanks Again!

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? 1000 char

I like learning. In fact, I love learning. But, school? That's a different story. In my high school, I felt out of place. Although I valued the rigors of the curriculum, everyone was only learning for one purpose: to earn a better GPA and get into a better college. I believed that my education should an experience that has inculcated all my interests, and not a generic number churned out of a computer.

At Brown, I am given the freedom to grow into a better person and scholar by nurturing my interests in a broad area of subjects. I am given the responsibility of my education in which I am to find a delicate balance between maturity and exploration, delve into various interdisciplinary subjects, and incorporate my studies (or interests?) in the cultural (Indian classical music and dance), scientific, and historical realms to produce an individualistic and holistic education. The tight-knit community of students doesn't compete against each other, but abet in each other's didactical journey. At Brown, I don't have to be a number or a letter. I can be myself.

Got to get efficient. Modern readers have tiny attention spans. I like learning. In fact, I love learning, but school? That's a different story.

...should be an experience that has inculcated all my interests, and not a generic number churned out of a computer. (you need another sentence here in order to make your point)

At Brown, I am given the freedom to grow into a better person and scholar by nurturing my interests in a broad area of subjects. I am given the responsibility of my education in which I am to find a delicate balance between maturity and exploration, delve into various interdisciplinary subjects, and incorporate don't waste words with these generalities. You could say the same of any school, not just Brown.

This is the interesting part: my studies (or interests?) in the cultural (Indian classical music and dance), scientific, and historical realms to produce an individualistic and holistic education. The tight-knit community of students doesn't compete against each other, don't talk about a tight knit community... and yes they do compete with each other!

Keep these words in there! They are brilliant: but abet in each other's didactical journey. --- very cool words... but the rest of their sentence has to get the ax!

At Brown, I don't have to be a number or a letter. I can be myself.---maybe, but what makes Brown so different from other schools in that regard. And do you really just want a general education, or are you passionate about a particular subject? Impress them with your plans for the future!

Hi Kevin,
Thank you for the advice that you gave me. I can really see that I was being too general with the topic, and am working on being more specific with my words. But I had one question: the next supplement for brown was about my academic interests that I wish to pursue at Brown. So I was wondering if it would sound to repetitive if I wrote about it in this one too.

Thanks Again
Ramya

Great question. I think you could probably write 100 pages before becoming repetitive. The key is to cover different aspects of your specific interests when you write the other essay.

Be that passionate scholar who simply cannot stop talking about the important aspects of the field. Know what I mean?

You only get to use a few pages when you could probably fill 100 with your insights from pursuing your chosen field of knowledge. And your PLANS could fill another 100 pages.

Ok, Thank you very much! I think I get it now. I will rework these ideas into my essays.