This is my "Why Emory" essay.
prompt: What are the unique qualities of Emory University, and the specific school(s) to which you are applying (Emory College of Arts and Sciences, Oxford College, or both), that make you want to become part of Emory University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
As I close my eyes, I can imagine my life at Emory University. I can picture the rays of the sun kissing my face as I cruise around the beautiful campus. I can picture the hustle and bustle of campus life as students move from class to class. I can picture students smiling and laughing uncontrollably at the happiest place on earth. Let's be honest; it has always been my dream to attend Emory University.
Today, I would like to go into the medical field. I know that, specifically, Emory College will prepare me well for this arduous, but ultimately rewarding, journey. Emory College has it all. The great professors. The beautiful campus. The top ranked pre-medical community in the nation. As a result, it would be an honor to attend a school with such an amazing past and such a bright future.
Furthermore, I plan on using the resources available at Emory University to the best of my ability. With an acceptance of admission into this school, I will make an effort to exploit every research and learning opportunity available. Since Emory University is a private school, I have been informed that students are able to research with professors on a daily basis. This is something that I would love to do in my "free time". Moreover, I will also attempt to integrate myself into the friendly community found in this exceptional school, thereby giving myself another family in Atlanta.
What do you think?
I'm not a grammar whiz, but content wise, your essay while it's good, is too superficial. You say you're going into the medical field. Think of significant elements of Emory College that relates with your medical career such as a professor researching something that can impact the medical field or something in that manner. Talk about them and how they appeal to you. This is just a suggestion though. Your essay is good, but to me, it's just too superficial. Many applicants will have the same thing as you.
