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like a neutron - Computer Science and Beyond Common App Essay

sharvilgrg 1 / 2 1  
Sep 8, 2019   #1
Question: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

like a neutron

How small has something got to be to change our society? I say, as small as a neutron, having a measly mass of 1.674929 x 10-27 kg. Why? You might ask. Well, it initiated a chain reaction (pun intended) that changed the dynamics of the world forever!

Looking back, such a neutron for me was a chat with a friend on a bus ride home. It propelled me into the world of computer programming, and the entailing events changed my perception of those around me.

In the 9th grade, programming seemed to be a source of unfathomable mysteries. However, a realization: many of my friends had dabbled with it, positively fueled my competitive nature. This particular conversation with my friend, someone who, in my opinion, was only dedicated to the school course, gave me the final push to not lag behind my peers and do something about the situation. These strong feelings, a deep desire not to regret anything in future, and not succumb to the self-created mental barriers prompted me to learn C programming. Each class provided me with a new tool, such as a new method or concept, in my arsenal to write codes and solve a variety of questions. All these things sustained my fascination and interest.

As such, "Hello World" not only helped me gain confidence and overcome my mental barriers but also somehow, unexpectedly gave me a new perspective on human interactions and accepting differences between people.

It was through a variety of conversations along with mild introspection that I realized that people have different approaches to learning programming. I was fascinated by the simplest solution that made some logical sense such as finding patterns in complex problems. Some peers of mine were alike and liked to explore the various logical aspects of questions. Others were more interested in learning a variety of standard implementations: pre-made logics. A small minority was interested in very specific types of programming. This resulted in differences in how we approached our programming projects and, in practice, our methodology and thus, our code. These occurrences fueled my curiosity to know what actually stemmed such differences.

Over time, I realized that it was the differences in our expectations and motivations that, springing from individual personality, preferences and the environment we grow in, formed the basis for such situations. This led to a new outlook: people have different definitions of what they consider as a success, or what they want to use something for and, as a result, everyone has a slightly different approach to the same problems. Furthermore, the way individuals decide to learn and use their knowledge is also varied. In everyday life, people can neglect the above by believing themselves to be the protagonist of their lives and overlooking that everyone in their lives is also the protagonist of his/her own life, thus living with different sets of issues and beliefs. Such differences have made me, at times, feel frustrated when I see people do things in ways that seem to conflict with my own methods, which I believe to be the best ones. At such times, I have, however, found that it is important to remember that most methods aren't inherently wrong or right; they just seem to reflect some of the differences in the thinking of people around us.

These understandings and insights have helped me to be a better version of myself. They have allowed me to acquire an enhanced understanding of my peers, as I can now try to see their thoughts and beliefs in a different light. This has helped me in becoming a better team player. At the same time, it has made me less prone to self-doubt and understand that what I want is unique to myself and thus the steps needed to achieve those goals also have to be mine and mine alone.

Please help me with my commonapp essay, give me feedback and your thoughts. I want to make it better or even excellent. Thank you!

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Sep 8, 2019   #2
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! Seeing as you are new here, I hope you find this feedback to be somewhat helpful for your writing endeavors.

First and foremost, the introductory paragraph is quite scattered. While I know that you had attempted to make this a creative plunge, you were unable to have a more focused approach to writing. It is critical that you merge the first two paragraphs to create a more comprehensive, clearer understanding of the entire situation.

Furthermore, the third paragraph needs a lot of attention when it comes to developing thoughts and opinions. While it was great that you had tried to explain things from your viewpoint, it would be helpful if you could have compressed the information into one more exponential piece of text throughout.

Notice how you had no definitive structure and organization throughout (ie. noted by the fact that you had varied lengths in writing). I would recommend that you make everything simplified and structured to ensure that readers are able to fathom the entirety of the text without just looking at parts of the whole.
OP sharvilgrg 1 / 2 1  
Sep 8, 2019   #3
Thanks for the response and advice.

Can you please what you meant by ' it would be helpful if you could have compressed the information into one more exponential piece of text throughout' and ' to ensure that readers are able to fathom the entirety of the text without just looking at parts of the whole'. Is the later in relation to the entire text or just the third paragraph

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