Linguistics, activism, and performing arts; Fashion Institute of Technology Essay

Please feel free to give me constructive criticism/overall comments on my essay for FIT! Thank you(:

Prompt: What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments. (No more than 750 words, please.)

In my life there has been this driving force of passion and dedication that has gradually built itself throughout the four years I've spent in high school. Some of my interests which spurred in high school have not only shaped myself, but also my environment. There are three specific entities of interest within this self-transformation that have been the highlights of this process: linguistics, activism, and performing arts. I feel that I've built a strong foundation for myself from these specific points due to their influence.

Foreign language has shaped my curiosity for global communication and given me a well-rounded view on my linguistic abilities. I was sufficiently nervous that I would enter my first year of Spanish clueless. The summer going into my sophomore year I created my own guide of Spanish grammar to prepare me for the upcoming year. Throughout the course I built an interest around Spanish culture and I even joined Latin Dance club at my school. Only two years later and I'm currently in IB Spanish 5 with clear comprehension of the language. I'm also taking French 1 online as an extra credit because the language interests me. I feel that at FIT I'd be able to express my affinity for foreign language through clubs like the French Language & Culture Club as well as the LASO (Latin American Student Organization).

Coming out as a freshman in high school was by far the most stressful point in my life. I felt as though the relationships I built with my new friends were going to deteriorate and for a moment I even thought my own mother was going to force me out of her home. I knew that in order for my life to progress I had to overcome my fears and let the truth shine through. To my surprise, I was greeted with hesitantly open arms, which was more than I could ask for. The next year I was introduced by a friend to a local LGBTQ youth group called the Rainbow Youth of Brevard. The Rainbow Youth worked along with PFLAG (Parents and Families of Lesbians and Gays) to provide a supportive atmosphere for its members. I felt so welcome that I went to every meeting and each week I heard amazing stories from strong individuals that wanted to make a difference in their community. Last year I was given the honor to become the president of the Rainbow Youth of Brevard and I could not have been any happier with my involvement in the group. At the beginning of this year I decided my school needed to carry this sense of support among the LGBTQ community so I created a Gay-Straight Alliance that educates students about my community and what we stand for. I'm blessed to be part of such an inspiring movement and I would plan to continue my activism with The LGBT Community Center in Manhattan as well as FIT's FIT IN (LGBTQ) club.

Theatre has been a medium of art in which I've been able to express my inspirations in an open environment and develop my communication skills. When I first joined the theatre program, I never realized how much it would affect my future. Four years later, I can say that this program has been the highlight of my high school career. Working on my characters and performances has helped me become an overall dedicated individual. In my second year of theatre, I was given the opportunity to compete in a regional thespian competition that involved not only acting events such as monologues and pantomimes, but also technical events such as set and costume design. I created five costumes for the play Rabbit Hole and presented them to a group of judges. When I look back on that time, I remember spending the whole month of October creating designs based on what I read and creating a formatted presentation. The sense of passion I felt when I presented my designs was astounding and the feedback I received kept with me for a long time. From that point on I knew I wanted to pursue a career in the business of fashion, which is why I'm applying for the Fashion Merchandising & Management major. After three years of creating costume designs and building presentations I received not only superior ratings from all of my judges, but also runner-up for best in show. I feel that if it wasn't for the theatre program at my school I wouldn't have discovered my calling for the pursuit of fashion.

Thank you for your comments in advance!

dear
i do respect the way you are writing essay, may I ask you if your 1st language is english or other? and how long have you been studying English?