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"Linked to my grandfather's presence" -UC prompt 1


surfsandiego 3 / 14  
Nov 22, 2008   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Three years after my grandfather's death, I still feel inextricably linked to his presence. My grandfather was a calm yet collected force in the household. He held a certain humbling countenance about him, a perpetually radiant smile and noticeable wrinkles on his forehead that reflected his experiences as a first-generation immigrant from China. He raised me for more than fourteen years, scolding me when I mistreated my younger sister or praising me when I took long walks with him to the coffee shop. In hindsight, I believe I underestimated my grandfather's influence on me. He taught me to be humble by giving to the poor. Always enthusiastic to travel to new places and gain new perspectives, he taught me to be a worldly individual. He also showed me the value of education, driving me to elementary school every day even past the age of seventy. And he taught me to be hopeful and open-minded; his escape from an impoverished village in China and through a desolate Myanmar still resonates with me today. Even though he could not speak English, my grandfather made a conscious effort to learn the language and transcend barriers. When he grew older and couldn't take me to school anymore, my grandfather would sit at home and write poetry, reflections on his unyielding devotion to God or his long-line of transformational experiences. In truth, my grandfather represents the very being I aspire to be: a transcendent figure that is grateful for every opportunity and special moment in life.

My grandfather's untimely death occurred just before I began high school. I remember looking into his beady eyes just moments before he was taken to the hospital. He still had the same radiant smile, the same calm attitude; only months ago, we celebrated his ninetieth birthday. When he passed away, I instinctively started to question my personal identity and sense of self, "Who was I?" "What would I do without my grandfather's presence?"

But in the back of my mind, I always knew what my grandfather wanted. He wanted me to do my best and to strive to be someone uninhibited by life's challenges. He wanted to find my interests and passions and translate them into my future. In many ways, I have followed through on my grandfather's wish. Through experiences in journalism, I have found an affinity for the written word. From focusing diligently in school and closely monitoring world affairs, I have learned to appreciate the complexities of various academic subject areas, especially in the social sciences and humanities. I aspire to one day become a journalist seeking truth in the world or a lawyer thwarting injustice, but it is because of my grandfather's inculcation that I can do whatever makes me happy in life that I have chosen that goal.

While my grandfather has been one of the most prominent influences in my life, I have also been lucky to grow up in a close-knit family characterized by camaraderie and support. Often, my extended family joins together for joyous occasions, a collection of gracious individuals who live in San Diego. Every time we come together for "potluck" dinners or festive gatherings, I am amazed by how compassionate everyone is to each other. From the instance in which my cousin offered to teach me golf to the endless discussions over politics, there has always been a great sense of optimism in my family. Indeed, this air of optimism has helped me develop important traits like curiosity, motivation, and self-confidence. Right now, my life is a wondrous journey of growth towards the realization of some future dream. For fourteen years, my grandfather held a special place in my life. While I know I still have the support of a caring family, I just wish my grandfather could see how far I have grown because of his vital guidance.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 23, 2008   #2
I think this is a great piece, especially that first paragraph. You acknowledge and answer every facet of the prompt, and stay organized with good sequencing while you do it. Your sentence structure looks good, as does the overall organizational structure. Your intro is catchy and your conclusion ties things up well. Overall, I think you've got a very nice piece. Good work.


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