I hear my mother's screams
I don't think screams is the right word, because it confuses the reader into thinking the essay is about something horrifying.
You did not do enough in the first para to show that you are up against special adversity. Everybody's parents are divorced, and many live in bad neighborhoods. It is okay to use this as the theme, but do not jump from saying this to saying it is evidence of your perseverance.
I guess I think divorce is too common to be used as evidence of triumph over adversity. I definitely do not mean to suggest you have had no adversity,... I just think the essay needs to be strengthened by a secondary theme.
And eliminate unnecessary words:
Coming from a family t
hat has bee n torn in a divorce is something that has definitely made me open my eyes to what happens in the real world. Seeing my mother struggle,
something that she still does to this day as a matter of fact, trying her hardest to provide for my sisters and I in order to make ends meet
I plan on making something out of myself ------If so, tell us about the plan. What are your goals? What is your action plan? That is a good secondary theme for the essay.
:-)