Hi everyone,
Here's another supplement for the University of Michigan. Again, any/all constructive criticism is appreciated!
The prompt:Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)
Any college to which I apply needs to be able to satisfy my intense desire to learn. While many colleges can do this, not many can provide the resources needed for me to study all of the subjects I wish to study. However, the University of Michigan's College of Literature, Science, and the Arts seems to be just such a place.
The main topic I wish to study is philosophy. I enjoy philosophical discourse and I am extremely excited to begin a more thorough study of philosophy than what was possible in high school. I am most interested in the ancient Greek philosophers as well as morality and ethics, and the fact that the philosophy department covers such topics and at the same time encourages interdisciplinary study makes it seem like a perfect match. I believe I can excel and really expand my understanding of philosophy in the program, which consistently ranks highly among universities in the nation. However much I may want to study philosophy, there is absolutely no way I could possibly abandon music and my passion for jazz.
How convenient then that the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts also has exactly the major I intend to pursue alongside philosophy: Jazz and improvisational studies. Ever since I began listening to the beautiful jazz guitar of Wes Montgomery I have been dedicated to learning jazz. I can not imagine leaving that behind, and if obtaining a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree in Jazz and Contemplative Studies entails me taking on an increased course load, I am all for it.
The College of Literature, Science, and the Arts also requires students to participate in intensive language training, which is something I seek to participate in regardless of whether or not it is required. I already speak English, Portuguese, and Spanish, and I plan on adding (at the very least) French and German to that throughout my lifetime. I also have a strong desire to learn a language with a different alphabet, so Russian or Japanese are distinct possibilities.
Finally, I do not want to overload the right hemisphere of my brain with the humanities-I plan on using the left hemisphere of my brain as I pursue a career in Neurosurgery. The University of Michigan is perfect in that I can pursue my other interests while at the same time studying to go to medical school. I want to be a well-rounded individual, and it often is apparent to me that I am becoming a "humanities guy." I aspire to balance out my interests-the logical with the creative-and the University of Michigan is clearly more than capable of providing me with a grounds to not only achieve all that I aspire to achieve but also to open up my horizons and help me find even more topics I am passionate about.
I think this is a decent essay; however, I think your first paragraph could use a bit of work. It seems a little short and choppy, and I think you could start your essay better by making the intro more personal.
