Prompt: What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
When I was a little girl, I carried my little Fisher Price cassette player with a microphone and interviewed my family members about their favorite foods, songs, activities, and who their favorite Pokemon was and why. I walked around my neighborhood asking my neighbors about how their day was going while also doing impressions of my favorite television characters. I am very outgoing and down-to-earth person. I have always had an affinity for meeting new people and questioning them about their life experiences so that I can learn more about them, as well as the world around me. I want to study the Communications major so that I can continue working with diverse stories and learn about how to relay information over various methods that can attract, yet, educate the community's attention.
It was not until I attended UC Santa Cruz that I was exposed to a more hands-on experience of television broadcast with Banana Slug News (BSN). I learned the importance of punctuality and working under pressure to find stories for our shows. A lot of the information I gathered involved interviewing students and faculty members about events and issues that were affecting our campus. I learned different ways to make news more appealing and understandable for our viewers, whether it was through dramatizing my television presence or writing witty puns to help engage the viewer in the material. Aside from television broadcast, I also wanted to be involved in a community that strives to nurture students' academic needs and career goals. The Kuya Ate (Brother-Sister) Mentorship Program (KAMP) is a student organization that I am currently a coordinator of, where I assess our community's needs on a cultural, academic, social, and self-care basis so that I can provide the tools and resources to allow our members to excel in their studies and graduate on time. The job also entails a lot of agenda setting and interaction with administration members to book vicinities, hire reputable hosts, and publicize our events on campus that pertain to our mission statement. As a marketing intern for the Santa Cruz Museum of Art and History (MAH), I assist in planning events for the entire Santa Cruz community that require creative strategies that will increase participation and communal involvement for families and visitors. We had one event, "Radical Craft Night", where we yarn- balmed one of the sculptures in the museum and hosted activities with kids where they can craft wool from a live sheep. Both jobs require confidence and dedication for the extensive amount of planning needed to motivate the community to do well in school. I am able to utilize my experiences to help students who are struggling and who also wish to realize their potential to achieve any goal with persistence.
I chose to work in three diverse student organizations because I want to be exposed to different environments. I never lost enthusiasm for all these organizations because it is something that I enjoy and find rewarding. My outgoing personality helped me attain more marketing and people skills in my daily interaction with diverse communities. They have all taught me to be a confident public speaker, an effective delegator and problem-solver, and a well-rounded multi-tasker. I hope that as a Communications major I will be able to share my skillsets as well as solidifying a certain field within the major that I would like to focus on.
This is a very interesting and revealing essay Katherine. The only thing is, the essay seems to abruptly end. It is almost as if there is more to be said in terms of your prompt responses. Maybe it is because I am reading the essay continuously and without any formatting guides, or maybe there is really room to add more information to the essay towards the end of the essay. I think you should discuss the creative strategies that you learned about from your involvement in those activities and organizations and how you hope to continue to build upon your strong foundation upon becoming a Communications student. That part of your essay is just a single sentence, which is why it sounds incomplete. A complete paragraph should have at least 3 sentences which are completely developed and delivers a clear message. Can you try to add more content to that part? Don't worry about going over any word count. We can help you bring it down when we get to the final version stage :-)
Thank you!
I decided to add this at the end: I chose to work in three diverse student organizations because I want to be exposed to different environments that will teach me a myriad of creative strategies that will help be me a confident public speaker, an effective delegator and problem-solver, and a well-rounded multi-tasker.
How does that sound?
It will work. But you need to mention each organization, what you learned from your participation there, and how it helped to further develop your interest in communications. For every organization, relate one of the character traits that it helped you develop. Quickly share an experience and explain how it helped you grow as a person. You can then conclude the essay by stating that you hope all of the lessons you have learned and experience will hopefully, allow you to become one of the best students in your chosen major. Try to write the paragraph and then add it to the essay before you post that revised version here. We can then check for the fluidity of the paragraph and fix any transition problems it might have.
