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I've lived in a box my whole life. UC Undergraduate Essay


aliciadc 1 / 1 1  
Nov 15, 2012   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I've lived in a box my whole life. When I was a little girl my mother wasn't financially capable of raising my brother and me alone so we had to live in an old trailer that was parked in my grandparent's backyard. With a single parent's income, my mother could only get what help she could afford, which wasn't much. However, she still managed to provide for me and my brother.

Please help me with my essay, I do not know where to take it after this. I need a transition or something. I want to continue to talk about my family and how theyve influenced me and guided me to become the person I am today. How they've allowed me to metaphorically escape from this "box" of a world.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 20, 2012   #2
With a single parent's income, my mother could only get what helpus what she could afford, which wasn't much.

However, she still managed to provide for me and my brother to meet our basics

Please help me with my essay, I do not know where to take it after this

well.... you may be having lots of things to say on this. The intro itself provides a good idea about your background and hardships. Elaborate them with your real life experiences : )

Also, tell them how you fought against the odds; how you succeeded; how these experiences shaped your life and how contented you are about your achievements : )
Honey Johri 2 / 10  
Nov 20, 2012   #3
you have chosen a very good and viable topic for your essay. You can write a lot of things in this topic. Perhaps, you may write one more para to describe your community and school . After that you should write about how the community and your family supported you, despite the rough circumstances. like "my mother always supported my studies and did whatever she could to buy me books etc. so that I can become an educated and reputed person. " some instance like these would be fine in your essay. describe how your living conditions have shaped your dreams and so forth.

add all these things and you shall be set to go.
i can't any add more comments as you will first have to write something which can be further improved. i would suggest that u write an essay, no matter how bad it it is , at least once.

once written I can read it and suggest any further improvements. also it will be easy for you to improve your essay once all of it is in front of your eyes.


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