Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. I think it's good, but I need somebody else point of view, any feedback would greatly be appreciated :)
Imagine feeling like you are completely blind and deaf at the age of five. For the majority of my childhood this is how I felt. I was completely alone, isolated, and worst of all, I did not know how to communicate with anyone but my family. Although I was raised in America, my mother was born in Ethiopia and immigrated to the U.S. almost eighteen years ago. Many people couldn't understand why I couldn't speak English even though I was born and raised in America. Throughout the years I have had to explain to many of my teachers and peers that in my community everyone was Ethiopian. Although my family lived in America, the people we surrounded ourselves with were of Ethiopian heritage. Being in a community of mostly Ethiopians - I always felt comfortable, and in a sense, at home.
During my time in primary school I was not aware that there was such a huge difference between the Ethiopian and American culture. It was not until my first day of school when one of my peers asked me "Why do you talk like that?" did I realize there were other people who were not like me. There were people with different dialects, cultures, and ways of life other than what I had grown accustomed to. I was soon bombarded with endless amounts of homework from my English Language Development teacher involving capital letters, correct spelling, proper punctuation and much more. Trying to learn a new language and accept a new culture didn't feel quite right. I felt as though I was creating another version of Lillian Berhanu; a version so unlike the real me that I didn't feel genuine anymore. I was continually forced by my teachers to read properly, to speak without an accent, to draw, label, write, and memorize endless amounts of vocabulary words. Soon it all became very frustrating. After a couple of years of adamant studying I soon became proficient in the English language, and by the third grade I excelled in English. Because of my success I was chosen to be in the Gifted and Talented program.
Though I felt like giving up on numerous occasions, I knew I could not quit because of the torment I received from my peers. I was determined to not feed into the negativity that surrounded me, but instead use it as fuel to propel me in achieving my dream. A dream that consists of not conforming to the stigma of being an "American", but being a pioneer and breaking down barriers for Ethiopians in my native land who aspire to be successful in America.
Ultimately, growing up in an Ethiopian and American environment showed me that I can adjust to obstacles in different environments with different expectations. No matter how difficult it may be I know that I have the qualities to achieve anything in my future. And although I am uncertain of what I want to do in my future, I know for a fact that I will not let any negative influences my community may present deter me from becoming the first college graduate in my family.
I think you did a pretty great job:) The college will be able to see your perseverance, your ability to adapt to a culture different from yours and your willingness to use negativity as a catalyst. The essay also effectively shows how your background relates to your aspiration. "Though I felt like giving up on numerous occasions, I knew I could not quit because of the torment I received from my peers." Maybe you could specify more on how your peers treat you, show how it drives you to succeed.
