I have been living the dream; it's time to share it ! -Stanford

So I only recently decided to apply to Stanford. I am done with most of the supplement except for two essays. I plan to recycle one (or two) of my essays for the other schools. Here is one:

"Soon after they started their careers, my parents made enough money to move to the Khozama District in Riyadh, one of the most affluent neighborhoods in Saudi Arabia. People can get caught up in the fast-paced, money-driven lifestyle of Northern Riyadh, but it is a great place to grow up. It radiates a sense of tranquility, comfort, and security.

As a child I thought everyone had it this good, but overtime I came to realize that many others do not retain that lifestyle. There are people who work until their feet bleed for a meal, whereas I had always taken food for granted. There are people that cannot attend college, despite their excellence, while I only have to worry about my acceptance. It saddened me that some people had not been as blessed as I was; and I wanted to change that.

I believe that one could only attain their full potential if they embraced others and shared the fruit of their success. That is why I started giving presentations about research to the younger students in my school; I wanted to expose them to the same opportunities that I had.

Many of the people in my community are successful. My personal definition of success is being where you want to be in life while also helping others get there with you. An example of success has been presented to me and I want to obtain that success. I have been living the dream; it's time to share it."

I would appreciate notes on the essay. But more importantly, I need you to suggest which of the three essay prompts it fits best.

1. Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

2. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

or 3. What matters to you, and why?

Thanks!

I mean you can adapt the essay to be either the first or third. Overall its a good essay but the problem I have with it, or rather and admissions officer would have with it, is that it's kind of generic. I mean Stanford get a lot of applicants and especially with these questions most of them are going to mention the poor. How about you stand by including something significant you did to achieve your version of success? Putting action to your words really vindicates them.

Hope I helped! Can you please look over my Uchicago essay?

HI!
What was that example of success that was presented? Go into detail for the reader, they want to know! :)
I agree w/ enigma33, you want yours to stand out. With all the applicants that Stanford receives, you must have originality and what comes across in you essay, as nice as it is currently, could use a little revision to include the passion that you want to portray. You can see you help othersm give more examples. You stated you were "example of success was presented to you", share that experience in more detail. You want your passion to bleed into the pages you write. Hope that helps!

I think this is a very well written essay! I think it would best fit the third option, as long as you elaborate a bit more on the "why" aspect of the question. Why did it matter that others were less privileged than you? What would you do to change that and how could Stanford help you achieve it? Just a few prompts to get you thinking. But besides that, I think it's excellent!