Hi, I just finished writing U. Chicago essay. It's due tonight! can someone please help me?
***Especially, I need some suggestion for my conclusion! it's quite weak. I don't really have a great idea how to explain my thought.
THank you very much! (please regard I'm an internaitonal student)
Topic: There is third thing between living and dreaming. Guess it.
my answer is basically "be yourself and keep pursue your dream no matter what others say"
"Mommy, when I grow up, I will be a great magician!" a five year-old boy enthusiastically claimed to his mom after he watched a breathtaking magic show on television. Time passed; the boy moved through school, however, his dream, becoming a musician, stayed like sparkling jewels. Soon it was time for him to jump into the real world of college. "Brian, have you started to look for colleges yet? It is already end of your junior year. You had better start some research. Say, how about Johns Hopkins University? They have a great pre-med program," his mom said.
"Mom, I do not want to be a doctor; I want to be a magician who can give hope and smile to people," he said.
"Ha-ha! Do you still want to be one of those kids admiring a magician whom you saw when you were five years old? Stop kidding. If you don't want to be a doctor, just tell me that you don't want to be a doctor, instead of surprising me with those ridiculous answers," the mom said.
"Mom, I am not kidding. I am being serious. My dream has always been magician ever since I watched the magic show," he said with little bit of discouragement.
All of sudden his mom's face was hardened. "Are you crazy?! You want to be a magician. Please stop making fun of me. With your perfect GPA and SAT score, you can go Ivy League schools and become a renowned doctor! Do you even know how much magician makes? You will not even able to feed your family. You had better grow up! You are not a naïve five-year old child anymore!"
The boy's youthful dream was soon broken into pieces in front of this cold reality. He followed societal expectations and attended Johns Hopkins. He became a successful doctor as his parents wanted. He earned millions of dollars and was recognized as one of the best doctors in the nation. However, nothing could fulfill his empty heart. One day, he had a little boy as a patient. His childish grin reminded his unattained dream, so he asked him a question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "I want to be a magician! I saw a magic show last week, and he was AMAZING! I want to be like him," the little boy said. "A magician? That's a great dream, but how about something like President of the United States someone that everyone admires?", he suggested. "Umm... I do not care what other people think. For me, being a magician is a super-star!"
///The little boy's answer brought him back to his childhood memory. He quickly realized the difference between children, living in a dream world, and adults, facing reality, is the consciousness of circumstances. As people grow up, they learn how to consider the practical aspects but then their dreams are often buried. The reality of societal expectations and values replace those dreams. The boundary between living and dreaming is a thin piece of paper. People who chase their dreams regardless of the surrounding will continually bring them closer to their reality. Therefore, be yourself! Continually drive into your dream! As the linkage station between living and dreaming, being yourself will bring your dream one-step closer to reality.
Hi there! I think Jeselle made the necessary corrections.
You're essay has a very strong conclusion :) I was a bit lost, wondering where your story was heading. But in the end it makes perfect sense.
However, if you encounter an authoritative adcom you don't want to leaning him/her wondering for most part as to where your writing seems to be heading. Just what I feel. Don't be obliged to follow through it. :)
Great work and good luck!! :)
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Time passed; the boy moved through school, however, his dream, becoming a musicianmagician , stayed like sparkling jewels.
