Hello everyone! I have just written this essay a week ago and i have gotten a lot of feedback and revision on it. This is the revised version of it, if their is anything that needs to be edited please tell me to do so. Thank you!
Selling our house in San Rafael and going back to Iran was a huge step for me and my family, but it had a lot of positive results. I was anxious, nervous, and excited at the same time; I didn't know how to react once I got there. It felt strange for me to pack all my clothes and toys from San Rafael and head all the way to a country on the other side of the world. And because I had to go through a lot of change throughout this experience, I believe my trip back to Iran was one of my greatest accomplishments which altered my world. Going back to Iran allowed me to recognize and learn my own culture, learn Farsi, reunite with my Persian family and most of all, mature both mentally and emotionally.
I grew up as an American with American values, cultures and a deep American accent, but once I went to Iran all of that changed. My parents never thought that I would ever be capable to speak proper Farsi and, be able to talk with my family in that language. But this all changed when I attended Tehran International School for six years. It was a good school but had poor English speaking teachers. One good result from going to this school was that in the six years that I had been living in Iran, I finally was able to read and write in Farsi. This made me very excited because I could finally talk with my family in Farsi and go in public not worrying about whether I could or could not understand what people would say to me. Iran had changed my life. The people I met and the friends I made in Iran were just so caring and thoughtful that I didn't miss my friends in the United States. There is a word in Iran that is called "Bamarefat" meaning a sense of kinship and camaraderie. That's how I felt toward my Iranian friends; they were all "Bamarefat".
Living in Iran for six years changed me as a person. I matured, learning to treat other people with respect. It was an experience which changed my world; it made me realize who I really am and how I pursue life. This experience allowed me to appreciate what I have got and what things I can do in order to make this world a better place. My trip back also inspired me to help other people and to realize what I want to do with my life; to become a dentist. Iranian culture was different from American culture in ways, but it has given me a lot of new perspectives about life and how I pursue it. Moreover, the friends I made in the United States were perfectly nice people but the people I met in Iran have unique personalities which are hard to describe; they are just really "Bamarefat".
Thanks for this essay. reading this I travel with you in Iran and worried about the problem of language understanding.
your style is a live and you give us a clear picture of your values, character and style of life.
Besides that, you give a nice pictures of Iranian people.
I liked the conclusion " Bamarefat" - very emotional, strong and unique style.
good luck
My parents never thought that I would ever be capable to speak of speaking proper Farsi and be able to talk with my family in that language.
I'll change your semi-colon into a colon:
...what I want to do with my life: to become a dentist.-----If you introduce this idea, you should give some explanation about why it interests you and what you want to do with the knowledge you'll gain... why dentistry?
:-)
