UC Prompt 2 "Living life with no regrets"

can anyone read my essay and give me some advice? i know its not perfect so i need other people to share their views on it. thanks guys.

Hearing the commencement speech at the University of California, Irvine graduation in the summer of 2008 was a significant experience for me. Towards the end of the commencement speech, the speaker said something that struck my heart. I do not remember what he said word for word but the main point of his speech was that the graduates had been given an opportunity of a lifetime and that they had seized it and made the most of it. They had graduated from one of the highest ranked public universities and now it was their duty to put into practice what they have learned and make the world a better place for the future generation. Upon hearing the commencement speech, I had a new perspective on life.

My goal since I entered community college was to transfer to a UC. Instead, because of my difficulties comprehending Spanish, I gave up trying to fulfill foreign language requirements and in the spring of 2008 I transferred to California State University, Fullerton where they did not require you to take foreign language classes. It was a bittersweet moment. I successfully transferred out of a community college but I did not end up where I wanted to go. I felt unsatisfied with my accomplishment. I only had one chance to transfer and I used it on a school that I previously did not even consider going to. I didn't want to admit it but I was really disgusted with myself because I had settled for something instead of pursuing the goal I had set for myself.

I spent a lot of sleepless nights coming up with reasons why attending a CSU would benefit me more instead of a UC. I never completely convinced myself, I just did enough to ease the pain of regret. I found CSU, Fullerton to be eerily similar to my previous community college. The curriculum was not challenging as I expected. The teaching styles of professors were very mundane. They were essentially rewording what was already stated in the textbooks. It reminded me of the way I was taught at community college. The buildings on campus resembled the same buildings at my previous school. Every day my displeasure with the school was growing. CSUF did not meet the expectations I had of a university. Halfway through the semester, I gave up on school and was planning to drop out. I felt short-changed because I spent two years trying to transfer and once I did, it was nothing close to what I expected. I ended that semester on a bad note but I didn't care. I was going to drop out and I would still be a drop out today had I not attended my friend's graduation.

When I went home after the graduation, I kept replaying the speech in my head. I took some time to think about why I was feeling so emotional. What was it about that speech that got to me? I thought for a few minutes to come up with some answers and then it hit me. I knew that speech had gotten to me because of the shame I felt. I knew I was the reason why I didn't attend a UC. I felt shame because I had robbed myself of an opportunity to get one of the best educations. I had given up so easily on my dreams. I hit a few bumps on the road to transferring and I got discouraged. I did not even attempt to try again. I felt like a coward. It was a depressing day. I kept wishing I had a time machine so I could go back and correct my mistakes. For a moment I broke down mentally. At the end of the night, I promised myself that my new goal was to graduate with a bachelor's degree.

A week later, I was notified in the mail that I had been disqualified from financial aid because I was put on academic probation for the fall 2008 semester. Since I had chosen to transfer in the middle of the academic year, I was not given an extra semester to balance out my grade point average. It was a tough luck situation but I saw it as something else. This was the break I had been praying for. I could no longer afford to go to CSUF. I had to get good grades in classes to bring my grade point average back up in order to qualify for financial aid again. I didn't have the funds to pay for a semester on my own so going to CSUF was no longer an option. I should not have been ecstatic but I was. The commencement speech was still lingering in my head. I thought back to that night where I felt regret and wished that I had a time machine to fix my mistakes. This situation was sort of like my time machine. I have learned that in life we rarely get a second chance to fix our mistakes. I realized that I was getting a second chance and this time I was not going to have any regrets whether I got accepted or not.

This was the best thing that could ever happen to me. The commencement speech had relit the fire in my heart. The same fire that was extinguished by my failures fulfilling foreign language requirements now burned stronger. I was able to gain a new perspective on life. I have promised myself that I will live a life filled with no regrets. I know what regret feels like and I don't want to ever experience it again. This newfound perspective is the reason why I have returned to my previous community college. I decided to take the rest of the required classes so I can attend a UC next year. Basketball legend Michael Jordan once said "I can accept failure but I can't accept not trying". This is the maxim that I live by now. Whether I succeed or fail does not matter to me anymore. What's more important is that in everything I do I fully commit myself and leave no regrets.

I do not remember exactly what he said, but the main point of his speech was that the graduates had been given an opportunity of a lifetime and that they had seized it and made the most of it.

You should not use contractions (i.e. "don't"), but instead write out the two words.

I really like the way you concluded this.

To make it better, try doing this: read each paragraph, and try to write one sentence that captures the meaning of the paragraph. Tack that sentence onto the beginning of each paragraph. After that, go through and try to shorten the whole thing by writing each sentence with fewer words; only shorten sentences when it will make the essay better, more powerful, packing a stronger punch.

Good luck!!

Kevin

thanks for the advice kevin! i really appreciate it.