Ok I tried a different take on the topic but I don't know if it works. Should I just do a normal essay like... I do volleyball it makes me determined blah blah blah or keep going with this? Feedback helps, tell me if I should trash this. Anyways this is JUST THE BEGINNING it's not finished, I repeat it's not finished!
Many people live thinking there is one universe, but in fact I know that there are two. I've gone my whole life living with one foot in two worlds, the figurative and the literal and it seems I'm getting the best of both. When asked to depict myself, I doubt I can be comprehended by merely describing the people I've met, and places I've lived. I'm much more than a resume and I'm no product of my environment. What I do know is that all these factors of the literal world have impacted my figurative world which in turn shaped who I am. I know this concept may sound a bit tricky but just let me explain some things.
On my checklist of people who were most influential in my life, I think it's safe to say my mother is at the top of this list, second only to my God. In the literal world she's been my life, my rock, and my biggest supporter. In the figurative world I saw her holding an open door with a world of possibilities on the other side. In the literal world, she was an advocate of doing things right the first time around. She pushed me to achieve because she wanted me to be happy and succeed. But she raised me in a house full of love and compassion so in my figurative world it was only natural I became an advocate of second chances. And now I strive to do my best at everything, but I know it's not the end of the world if I don't get it right the first time. Both worlds together have made me who I am, like two opposite puzzle pieces, equally important and when you put them together I'm the end result.
Living through double perspectives has made me realize that it's not what life hands you that matters most, rather how you look at it. That's why I want to major in film. I tend to see the world in a different light, savoring the reality as I sculpt my own alternate. Every time I pick up a camera I know that what I see in front of the lens now will become a scene out of my imagination later. I use what I know and what I imagine to create a masterpiece, and I hope to do that for the rest of my life. Many people live thinking there is only one universe, but I know that there are two. It may not have started out that way, but I've learned to live in one while creating the other as I go along.
This is coming out just fine and I like your last sentence. Looking forward to seeing the finished essay.
...but in fact I know that there are two .
I doubt I can be comprehended by merely describing the people I've met, and places I've lived.
What I do know though is that all these factors of the literal world have helped...
...just let me explain some things;
And In the figurative world, I saw an open door...
..."became an advocate of second chances." This is great!
And Now I as a person strive to do my best ...
Fantastic job!
Short, to the point, and neat.
My advices: Do not use contractions.
She was holding that door open... I do not understand this sentence she was holding the opened door... or she was keeping the door open...(I'm Mexican.. I am new with the language..=) )
Both worlds together have made me this, like two opposite puzzle pieces, equally important and when you put them together I'm the end result. I like the sentence so much I will probably use for my AP lit essay...if you give permission of course... but I would change this... to something like: who I am or something else..that is just me though...
Can you read my essays, please...=P
I think you can take out your first sentence and open your essay with the second sentence instead. In my opinion, the second sentence would work as a better hook.
In the literal world, she was an advocate of doing things right the first time around.
I like where you're going with this essay, but in your second paragraph I don't think it's necessary to state "in my literal world" and "in my figurative world" as much as you did.
Good job so far though. Don't trash it!
I think you are doing fantastic job. I like the use of language included in your essay. Keep it up. Can you please check mine out it is on this forum
