Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Where I come from, everyone has a comfortable house with central heating, at least two cars, and a freshly mown lawn. We can drive five minutes to get to a mall, a movie theater, or even a water park. I would not hesitate to call the world I grew up in a suburban paradise. I have been blessed with the privilege to go to exceptional public schools, and my high school offers more opportunities to succeed than most others. There is nothing I can complain about; I have grown up in a world that many less fortunate people would be envious of.
Even though I will be the first person to acknowledge how lucky I am to live this life, I do not take anything I have for granted. My parents both emigrated from China and worked hard for everything we have today, and have instilled the same drive in me to work hard and eventually create a great life for myself and my children too. It is true that I have had opportunities that others have not; however, I have learned to make the most I that can out of them. Knowing my parents' humble beginnings has in turn taught me humility as well. There are so many other people in this world who struggle for basic survival needs such as food and water while I have everything I need; I cannot let my opportunities go to waste.
Another aspect of my quiet suburban life that has shaped me as a person is the many amazing people I am exposed to. My friends and family have constantly exuded a happiness and resilience in face of hardships that has found its way into me as well. The healthy environment I have grown up with has instilled a continuous optimism in me. When I meet obstacles in life, I face them with a positive attitude and I am determined to overcome them, no matter what they may be.
Right now, I have not fully figured out what I want to do with my life. However, I am not the least bit worried-I know that what I have learned in my world will lead me to find my passion and succeed in life. With a strong work ethic and a positive outlook, I am ready to take on anything.
Thanks very much in advance for the feedback.
In particular, I would like opinions about the content of my essay - is it too generic? I had some trouble responding to this prompt because I have lived a relatively comfortable life.
I actually tweaked the third paragraph a bit -
Living in a community where people generally have what they need and are happy with their lives has also affected my outlook on life. My friends and family constantly exude a well-being that has rubbed off on me, and as a result, I have developed optimism towards everything I do. When I meet obstacles in life, I can face them with a positive attitude and I am determined to overcome them, no matter what they may be.
Good afternoon :)
I think your content is a good fit for this question. You do a good job of explaining your environment, and how you view life and take part in it based on your world. The fact that you can say why you had problems answering the prompt shows that you have evaluated the reasons why it was difficult for you. Also, I do like your changes. I think you've got a good piece. One thought though: could your comfortable life have led to this indecision?
Regards,
Gloria
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