Hi guys! I'm here to share with you my essay about the most meaningful experience in my life and how it will make UF a better campus or improve my student life at UF. Tell me what you think...
As I walked through the narrow corridors of the hospice facility towards room 304, I felt a sense of melancholy overcome me. At last, I arrived at the doorway, where the body of a once vigorous individual lay quietly turned to one side, with a wedge pillow beneath him. The once lively, dear family friend and mentor, Mr. Lombardo was now in a lying in a cold room, motionless. The only source of warmth at that moment were the tepid tears that streamed down my face as I approached him. Leukemia had changed everything and took the energy away from him. As I looked into his icy blue eyes and gaunt face, it was time to say goodbye. That night was the hardest I had ever lived through. I stood there feeling helpless. I would now embark on a journey to make a difference in people's lives, and I turned toward my future and knew it would include medicine.
> The motifs of my life began to appear when my friend, Tom, came up to me seeking academic guidance. He was struggling with the concepts of physics and pre calculus. I had not known the mutual benefits that would come forth from this experience. Soon we would begin our study sessions and I would see Tom steadily improving. He would approach me in the hallway with a sense of exuberance, exhibiting to me that he had received his first B on a physics test. I continued to work with Tom twice a week as he grew academically and in the process, watched myself grow mentally. I could see I was maturing and thriving off of the feeling of giving back and helping those such as Tom who were struggling to achieve their optimal ability. With this new feeling in mind, and my interest in medicine, I knew I had found a winning combination.
> Medicine has always been inscribed in my genetics. Turning to my family I see various success stories from my father who is a physician, or my brother who is currently enrolled in medical school, or my sister and mom who are Registered nurses. I have come to learn there is no better reward than the simplicity of bringing a smile to someone's face or helping those in need. Through the moments of disappointment and times of great excitement, passion acts as a catalyst. By tutoring Tom and other students, my passion for others had surfaced and my career goals have become realized.
> . These events have led my desire to attend a prestigious university such as the University of Florida, which I feel will give me the environment to flourish. It would be an honor throughout my undergraduate studies to participate in Oncology Research through the UF Health Cancer Center and work alongside physicians . I want to reach my full potential and help other classmates achieve academic success. By extending my devotion for helping others beyond the classroom and into every day campus life, I will become a better individual and more prepared for my future endeavors as a student at the University of Florida.
alazo47
These are all great experiences that show your interest in medicine! The only thing I would suggest is better transition between the 1st and 2nd paragraph and 2nd and 3rd, it seemed a little abrupt to me. Also, if possible try to elaborate more at the end on what you would do to improve campus with your amazing personality :)
Well... without seeing your prompt, I may be telling something irrelevant. However, isn't it asking about one most meaningful experience? If so, your response is a bit diverted from its focus.You have several such experiences discussed in the response. You may disregard this comment if your prompt permits to do so.
Always, include the task prompt so that others get a clear picture as to what it requests and they can align their feedbacks accordingly.
