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Long boarding makes me happy : Tufts Supp/ "What makes you happy?"


chillyp 4 / 9 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
"What makes you happy?"
There is something about the combination of a longboard and music that makes me feel like I am on top of the world. Perhaps it is my obsession with high speeds and "Papercut" by Linkin Park blasting through my earphones. After school on Wednesday's I open my locker, reach in and pull out my longboard, put on my black Ray-Bans, plug in my earphones, and walk towards the entrance of my school. It's time.

I slowly go up the hill that leads up to "the area," a group of restaurants and shops a short walk from school. I stop by 20 teas, and order a large yogurt green tea. Half ice, half sugar, please. I continue up the hill, waving to a couple on a "tea-date" and notice a new bien-dang, or lunch box place and decide to check it out for lunch tomorrow. (Senior privileges are great, yes?) Looking towards the park, I notice some elderly people stretching while others are betting on a game of Chinese chess. Stay classy, Taiwan.

Reaching the apex of the hill, I stop and exhale to get myself ready for the task at hand. I push off with my left foot again and again, synchronizing my movements to the beat of the snare and bass of "Papercut". I jerk my hips to the front and back, swerving around cracks in the cement and avoiding collisions with slow and pesky motorcycles. Halting to a stop, I wipe off some sweat with my hand.

That was fun.

please critique :D oh, and its a 250 word limit.

luying9682 6 / 35 6  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
hello,
I love your writing style! It's fun reading the italic sentences.:)
Maybe you could say more about WHY this makes you happy, since you have described the thing that makes you happy the whole passage(though the question only asks what). And show us more about YOU. That is the aim of writing these essays.

I'm applying to Tufts too. Wish you good luck!
cavo8 2 / 6  
Dec 26, 2012   #3
For me i think i through your descriptions i understood quickly that it made you happy. but just in case add a line about why


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