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"a long history and a reputation",DePaul University Admission Commitee Statement


chitown31 3 / 5  
Jan 18, 2010   #1
Please edit this essay, and how can i make it longer?
This statement should discuss your interest in attending DePaul University, your achievements, what makes you motivated to attend college, how you would contribute to our student body and anything else you would like for us you consider.

I am applying to DePaul University, because I am aware that it possesses a long history and a reputation for high-caliber, rigorous teaching and learning. What especially attracts me is that the research conducted at the college is geared towards improving the lives of people. I have also come to admire the program because of its well-rounded curriculum and its stellar facilities. Keeping this in mind, I am certain that DePaul will prepare me exceptionally well and help me to become a strong person. I have always wanted to go to DePaul University. I visited DePaul one of the open house days. It was a great opportunity for me to visit DePaul. I really liked the campuses both the Lincoln Park, and Loop Campus. DePaul has recognized itself as one of the prestigious university in the Midwest. I appreciate the opportunity to be considered for your school. I look forward to your admission decision. Thank you for your time and attention.
Ray92 1 / 7  
Jan 18, 2010   #2
It's good...Although,
DePaul receives hundreds of essays like this and yourshas to stand out. This essay needs to be about you and not just the perks of DePaul University.

You could talk about your inspiration for applying to college or a defining moment or role model.

You're really close! Hope this helps.
NTabachnik - / 11  
Jan 18, 2010   #3
I think that you need to be more focused. You give a bunch of reasons as to why you want to go there, but we want to know why you have those reasons. What is it about YOU that attracts you to this school? Don't just stroke the school's ego- they do that enough themselves- but actually tell them what makes YOU attracted to it.

Also, the ending has to be stronger than those 3 sentences. It should be relevant, sharp, and it should leave the reader thinking.

I think you have a good start to this essay. The length should work itself out if you focus on deepening and developing those reasons why you want to go that you have merely listed here.

Good luck!


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