hello everyone. I finished up 2 responses to the short answer question of the common app.
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
1111111----
It has been a long tiring walk to the restaurant from the Port Authority. I finally reached the restaurant and my body quickly adapted to the basement's soothing temperature. I picked up my daily agenda book and dialed the supplier's number and requested the stock to be filled ASAP. Meanwhile, the stock from K.B. and brothers arrived. I picked up the sacks of food items and put them in the store room. Then, I went to my head chef and told him that the inventory has been restocked.
As an inventory and supply manager of the restaurant, such is a typical work day for me. Talking to suppliers, arranging for meetings with the owner and negotiating for prices is my basic job requirement. These job requirements have improved me a lot in building better work ethics and a sense of dedication and determination towards aiming for a goal.
222222----
Although I have never played on any team, I have tried numerous types of sports for leisure and have even mastered some! The current sport in which I excel in is Tennis. Although I just started playing Tennis in 2007, it has become an important part of my life and I cannot even imagine life without it.
Tennis has helped me meet new people of diverse cultures and beliefs. Every week, I meet at least one to two new people either from a different country or a different level of play.
Tennis is a great game to learn a variety of life skills, such as good sportsmanship and a sense of camaraderie. Playing Tennis has also taught me in how to take and respond to challenges with utmost dedication and determination.
pls tell me which one should be used and please give suggestions for improvement of the better one.. pls be as critical as possible!! thank you for taking time to read and post suggestions..
I think the first is better because it gives a specific experience then explains what you do. good luck
I like the first one because it's more engaging to the audience. The paragraph about tennis is a little overused and too general. Hope that helped!
hello everyone... ok so 1 st one is OK.. .. so pls give me suggestions for improvement of the first one..
It was a long, tiring walk to the restaurant from the Port Authority. I finally reached the restaurant and my body quickly adapted to the basement's soothing temperature. I picked up my daily agenda book, dialed the supplier's number, and requested the stock to be filled ASAP. Meanwhile, the stock from K.B. and Brothers arrived. I picked up the sacks of food items and put them in the store room. Then, I went to my head chef and told him that the inventory has been restocked.
As an inventory and supply manager of the restaurant, such is a typical work day for me. Talking to suppliers, arranging for meetings with the owner and negotiating prices comprise my responsibilities . These job requirements have improved strengthened my work-ethics and sense of dedication as I work toward achieving my goals.
Good luck!!!!!!
THANK YOU everybody.. This helped lot ...
