Can some please give me feedback on my tufts supplement please? I'm not sure if this is what they're looking for, or if I'm suppose to be expressing more through this essay. Thanks!
As I cruise along the Charles River on my longboard with the sun setting before me, everything is perfect. It's just me and my longboard against the world. As I dodge curbs, rocks, and pedestrians, I have full control. Adrenaline pumps through my body as I reach the top of a hill, and everything leaves my mind as I focus on nothing but what's ahead of me. At the bottom, the feeling of my board flexing beneath me and the buzzing sound of my wheels against the cement calm me again. When I find an open area, I also attempt a few tricks. Kickflip. Boneless. Ollie. I don' t usually succeed and I often get odd side glances from by passers, but those people don't understand the joys and difficulties of longboarding. Eventually, what's still left of my daily stress is blown away with the rush of the fresh summer breeze. When I run out of energy to go any further, I end my journey on a dock facing the city lights of Boston. It's on longboarding sessions like these when nothing but pure peace and happiness run through me every second of the way - from daylight when I was full of energy, until dark as I watch the lights of the Prudential Center flash from my little dock.
I gotta say I like the way you did this; imagery is good and you did a lot more showing than telling, which is what colleges want to see. Also, it sounds genuine and real and not fabricated. However, I do have one minor suggestion to make, where you put "by passers" it should be "passers by."
I hope I was helpful.
