The longer you stay in university, the dumber you get — Dartmouth extended essay

Hi,
this is my Dartmouth supplement. I tried to come across as a curious, well-rounded person, who wants to explore all fields in college.
I feel like my analogy of my pursuit to a full course-meal is a bit of a stretch...
Please give me any advice or criticism ! Thanks in advance

Mr Shunsuke Tsurumi is right

Option F: Emmy and Grammy winner Donald Glover is a 21st century Renaissance man-an actor, comedian, writer, director, producer, singer, songwriter, rapper, and DJ. And yet the versatile storyteller and performer recently told an interviewer, "The thing I imagine myself being in the future doesn't exist yet." Can you relate?

"The longer you stay in university, the dumber you become, so you should probably quit at some point," said Japanese philosopher Shunsuke Tsurumi.
I believe Mr. Tsurumi has a point. This seemingly counterintuitive statement is commonplace among Japanese university students who, upon entering university, slack off. My hypothesis behind this disappointing phenomenon is the students' lack of passion in academic subjects. If you're a multifarious person interested in Neurology and English and would very much like to pursue both in college- well, too bad for you. As a result, students are unable to explore their range of interests, and their once radiant passion for academics slowly dies out.

I am exactly this multifarious person, who dreaded the idea of being unable to pursue her diverse interests in college. Thus, I decided to abscond the country to a place that would liberate me from the confinements of monotonous learning: Dartmouth.

For starters, I am a writer. During my high school years, not only was I writing for school assignments, but my competitive nature made me write submissions for various essay competitions, speech contests, short-story contests, not to mention articles for a national high-school newspaper, both in Japanese in English. Moving on to the salad: I am also a teacher, interested in education. A comparative study I conducted on American and Japanese history textbooks got me interested in the social science aspects education. Tutoring elementary kids piqued my curiosity on the pragmatic approaches of education, which leads to the main course: my interest in psychology and neurology. Although neurology was a lofty subject untaught at school, I managed to accumulate bits and pieces via reading. I dream of researching at a neuroscience lab, conducting experiments and analyzing fMRI results. The dessert is an assortment of other topics that I want to study at college, including French, international affairs, and business.

Why stop at main course when there's plenty of room for dessert? Only when I exhaust all my options, pursuing all my passions, will I truly be satiated.

Anna, don't kick off your essay with a quote from the Japanese philosopher. The prompt already gives you a quote to respond to. There is no sense in changing the discussion or basing the discussion on the professor's quotation because, your whole essay changed in discussion content. You were no longer discussing the quote from Donald Glover, you were discussing the quote from the philosopher. You will need to change your essay in totality. Focus on the quote provided, nothing more. Answer the question "I will be a unique person in the future. What kind of person will that be?" Think of who you want to be in the future. Someone different from who you are today and more interesting than the common people one would meet. The "Can you relate" part pertains to allowing you to think out of the box. Which of your multifarious personalities seems the most interesting to you? Discuss that in this essay. This is about learning more about your personality or hidden personality or talents. The topic for discussion is quite vast, but not related to the quotation from Shunsuke Tsurumi.