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"I look forward to attending MBC" - educational opportunity for me


briiy 1 / -  
Jul 14, 2011   #1
Prompt:"Discuss reasons why this program would be an appropriate educational opportunity for you. Include a description of your educational interest and objectives. "

Many people think it would be pointless to skip high school, but under my circumstances it would be very beneficial. You are probably asking yourself, 'Well how is that so?', well let me tell you the three things I think you need in order for this program to be appropriate for you (All of which I possess!): First of all, you have to be prepared for the new atmosphere of college and ready to miss all of your high school experiences. Second, you need to be smart enough for the classes to be challenging, but not entirely impossible. Third, you need to have a set idea of what you want to accomplish in your studies and career. With these three things in mind, PEG would be a very appropriate opportunity for me.

First, I would like to elaborate on how I am prepared for a college atmosphere. I have always been very mature for my age. I always know how to behave in certain situations and in a civilized manner. A regular student my age would not succeed in a college level class because they do not have the social and communication skills required to gain something in such a class. However, I am definitely not a regular student. I would be able to learn something at PEG and Mary Baldwin because I possess these skills that others simply do not. I know how to be respectful, listen and be grateful to all the professors who will be helping me with my education. These are important qualities that some college student may not have, but all of them should. All in all, I am very prepared for the Mary Baldwin atmosphere.

The second topic I would like to discuss is how I can intellectually handle college level classes. Something that demonstrates this is the fact that school has never been challenging for me. I have always thought school was easy, boring, and pointless. This is why my grades may seem mediocre. I think that the classes offered at Mary Baldwin would provide the challenging atmosphere I need in order to succeed as a student. Something else that supports this is how much of an overachiever I am- whether it be trying to help out everyone around me that is having a hard time with an assignment or coming up with the idea that gets my group and 'A', you can always count on me to go the extra mile, and I think that is a good trait for any college student to have. I think most of the teachers have realized this and that is why I have been given the privileges I have. Whether it be being allowed to skip second grade, teaching my 6th grade class math for the year or being allowed to attend programs such as A.L.L , I think I have always possessed a desire to learn as much as I can and as fast as I can. All in all, I think I am very prepared for the Program for the Exceptionally Gifted.

Lastly, I would like to explain my educational interests and objectives. Most college level students have a plan for what they would like to achieve during college and after. I am definitely no exception. During college I would like to continue my music education, although that would not be the focus of my learning. I have always had an interest in music and I would like to continue improving on the piano and saxophone as well as composing music. However, the main focus of my college education would be psychology. I have been interested in psychology ever since 5th grade when I did wrote a research paper on the history of it. (Yes, the topic was of my own choice.) I would like to major in psychology and minor in philosophy or biology. After I graduate, I would like to go on to medical school and eventually become a child psychiatrist. I think this is a good choice for me considering I have always been interested in these subjects and I hope to make a career out of it. Some of my other educational interests include - animal medicine, architecture, 20th century history, and culinary arts. I think I have enough of a plan in mind to succeed as a PEG student.

As you can see, PEG is a very appropriate program for me. I possess all or most of the qualities required for this to be true. I have the right maturity level to gain something out of the classes I might take at Mary Baldwin. I also have the intellectually level absolutely necessary for it. But above all, I have a plan in mind and I am focused on accomplishing it. Above all, I'm definitely ready for the experience of attending a program like PEG.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 16, 2011   #2
Use the first person perspective:
...things I think I need in order for this program to be appropriate for me (All of which I possess!):

Try not to use the word "things." A better, more descriptive word is almost always available...

With these three things in mind, PEG would be a very appropriate opportunity for me.

This sentence lacks power and interest. The last sentence of the first paragraph is the most important sentence of the essay. Make it meaningful! Make it express that single concept that you hope the reader remembers.

You have great structure in this essay. The writing reflects your intelligence. Like I say to almost everyone, I just want to see more details about your plan for the future. Get specific about the plan you are carrying out and the role played by this program.

:-)


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