Hey, this is my common app essay. I was really hoping anyone could help edit, I'm applying to some really top schools like Stanford,Cornell and Dartmouth. And the deadline is very close. Thanks
Topic: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
It was my final High School Entertainment Awards ceremony. The entire auditorium was dark besides the well-lit stage. Save the occasional shrill whistles piercing the darkness, the room was dead silent; so silent in fact that I could hear the fevered breaths of my pal Anthony as he waited to hear the name of the winner of our year's best dancer. My own breath sounded surprisingly less so labored especially when I knew that my name could be mentioned.
And the winner is... There was a loud roar!...
In my freshman year of high school, I was "the shy student." On my first day of school, I avoided conversations. "Hey you there, what's your name?" "*silence*." Throughout my first term I remained the shy, intelligent boy from Form 1A. I never did enjoy being the recluse though. I actually admired people who were able to make friends instantly. That's not to say that I didn't have friends; I did - very good ones at that. But it took much too long for me to make friends. It was here that a love for dance that I had discovered earlier on would come in handy.
I had always loved dancing, although I had never gotten to perform on stage. My brother always used to tell me that I was great and should try performing but I never accommodated the thought. Every dance type amused me. I enjoyed every step and every movement. From international dance styles like ballet and hip hop dance to our more indigenous Adowa and Borborbo. I loved how dance could be used to express emotions: Krumping to express anger, or My native Adowa with its rapid movements of feet and twirling of the head, and movements such as the placing of both hands on the chest to show love and the kneeling on one knee to show respect to our ancestors. But amongst all the dance styles, hip hop dance intrigued me the most.
I learnt hip hop dance. It was what I was exposed to and what every high school in Ghana respected. It was the ticket to joining the Ghanaian high school dance hall of fame. Incidentally, in my second term in freshman year it would serve as an avenue for battling my diffidence.
My school organizes an annual dance battle between freshmen and sophomores. During my freshman year, I was really looking forward to seeing other dancers perform. The battle usually begins with a 'ring announcer' who mentions the names of participants from both sides. When he mentioned the names for the freshman year, my name was mentioned. I was terrified! My hands were shaking; my body soaked. My friends shoved me into the 'ring'. All around I could hear giggles.
Recalling my brother's past admonitions, "Kobby, let loose." I shook the trepidation off. My leaden legs led me forward and I started dancing even before the music had started. Silence. For 30 seconds the ring was engulfed in absolute silence. Then the cheers started. All around me people had gathered showering approbation upon approbation.
With time my shyness would fade. I wouldn't be scared to talk to anyone and I would find myself a much happier person. My description turned from that 'shy smart boy' to 'the smart dancer'
Dance is not respected by many people, and hip hop dance by even more people. Many of my friends say it is no art form; that it lacks the complexity of ballet or the rules of contemporary dance. Hip hop dance may not subject itself to these descriptions but it is complex in its own way. The pin-drop of the jerk style, the bone-breaking style (a form of contortion) all require as much skill and commitment as do any other forms of dance. Jumping out of my shell required a love for and appreciation of this dance form and its capacity for empowerment. Hip Hop dance led me to a new stage in my life. If that isn't complexity then tell me what is ...
There was a loud roar! And my friends turned to me with smiles. I didn't hear the winner. But their faces said it all. I had won the best dancer award.
