It is just a draft . all suggestions are appreciateed .
Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:
Dear Roommate,
I would like to start by saying, that I am very exited to meet you! Before I start telling you about myself first, I would like to congratulate you for being accepted into the extremely prestigious college and extraordinary community of Babson College.
I would like to share few things about me.
First of all, I love eating food. Eating is my favorite hobby and since I believe that my tastes buds are developed, I am comfortable in eating all types of cuisines, so I am sure that we can together eat food, which we both enjoy. I am an early morning person; so don't be surprised if I wake you up early in the morning. I try to keep things organized, but I just cant keep my closet organized, so don't get angry if our room is always messed up.As far academics are concerned economics and finance are my favorite subjects, and I am also somewhat of a multi-lingual person as I can speak in four different languages; English, Spanish, German and Hindi.
My major in Babson College is going to be finance as I have a deep love for investing into ventures and securities and would love to know and explore this industry.
Babson has always been on the top of my list because of the extremely prestigious business education it can offer me. What I am looking forward to the most at Babson College are the relationships I will establish with you, my peers, and my teachers. These relationships will not only allow me to open new doors of opportunity but it will also help me to better understand the world.
I am really excited and I look forward to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Shreyansh
I am comfortable in eating all types of cuisines, so I am sure we can eat together food which we both enjoy.
economics and finance are my favorite subjects.and I am also somewhat of a multi-lingual person.as I can speak in four different languages; English, Spanish, German and Hindi.
everything else is good in my opinion.
Before I start telling you about myself first, I would like to congratulate you for being accepted into the extremely prestigious college and extraordinary community of Babson College:
This should be fixed to Before I start telling you about myself first, I would like to congratulate you for being accepted into the extremely prestigious and extraordinary community of Babson College.
cant- can not
I would like to start by saying, ---no comma here --- that I am very exited to meet you!
Before I start telling you about myself first , I would like to congratulate you for being accepted into the extremely prestigious college and extraordinary community of Babson College.
First of all, I love eating! food
Eating is my favorite hobby, and since I believe that my tastes buds are developed, I am comfortable in eating all types of cuisines, so I am sure that we can together eat food, --no comma here either --- which we both enjoy.
... so don't get angry if our room is always messed up.As ---Always leave a space between sentences. --- far academics are concerned, economics and finance are my favorite subjects...
My major in Babson College is going to be finance, as I have a deep love for investing...
I am really excited and I look forward to hearing from you.
:)
Dear Roommate,
I would like to start by saying, that I am very exited to meet you! Before I start telling you about myself first, I would like to congratulate you for being accepted into the extremely prestigious college and extraordinary community of Babson Collegetoo .
I would like to share a few things about me.
First of all, I love eating food. Eating is my favorite hobby and since I believe that my tastes buds are developed, I am comfortable in eating all types of cuisines.so So I am sure that we can together eat food eat food together, which we may both enjoy. I am an early morning person; so don't be surprised if I wake you up early in the morning. In addition I try to keep things organized, but I just cant can not keep my closet organized, so don't get angry if our room is always messed up messy. As far academics are concerned, economics and finance are my favorite subjects, and I am also somewhat of a multi-lingual person as I can speak in four different languages; English, Spanish, German and Hindi.
My major in Babson College is going to be finance as I have a deep love for investing into ventures and securities and would will love to know and explore this industry.
Babson has always been on the top of my list because of the extremely prestigious business education it can offer me. What I am looking forward to the most at Babson College are the relationships I will establish with you, my peers, and my teachers. These relationships will not only allow me to open new doors of opportunity but it will also help me to better understand the world.
I am really excited and I look forward to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Shreyansh
I liked it. You wrote about your interests, and other personal things that are important for your roommates to know which are good. However, I think you can vary your sentence structure a little bit more, since it is very much the same syntax right now.
