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I love to laugh/ Curiosity; Stanford Supplment- Roommate/ What matter & why?


aceq 2 / 12 1  
Dec 30, 2012   #1
My grammar is not the best. Any suggestions? Does it feel like too many thoughts are jumbled together?

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Dear Roommate,

My name is Astrid and I'm excited to meet you! At first I may seem shy, quiet, and timid but once you get to know me you will know that and tease people. I have been told that I have the funniest one liners and that sometimes I am too blunt (Once you meet me you can decide on that). Within days of getting to know me you will find out that I love watching sports: football, baseball, basketball, and soccer, anything (I'm a huge Raiders, Patriots, Dodgers, Lakers fan, so if you are Charger, Celtics, or San Francisco Giants fan this is going to be very interesting). I hope you enjoy watching sports and hopefully can root together or against each other, while we have fun hanging out. I can be messy but I would much rather be organized. Besides that, I am pretty laid back. I love sleeping in. Languages are my thing, I speak English and Spanish and I am learning Mandarin and French (I know how to do my ABC's in Sign Language). I can be your confidant, I am loyal and will keep everything you tell me with me. Sweets are my biggest enemy: brownies, chocolate chip cookies, anything with chocolate you bet I will be all over it. One crazy fact about me I may be from Southern California but I do not know how to swim. In the end you will know that I am very friendly and care about everyone that I know; family and friends are the most important thing to me.

What matters to you, and why?

Curiosity matters to me. As I am on the bus going home, I look out the window and observe the people who are driving. Where are they going? Who are they? What do they do? And the questions go on and on, never directly knowing the answer, but indirectly knowing that no matter how different they might be from me they can be pretty similar to me. Curiosity is what drives people to seek the answers to that which they do not know. I enjoy questioning and wondering about what I do not know. I am amazed by the ways things work. What was the creator of hangers thinking when he or she created them? How did toys come to be? I love thinking about what people in the past thought the future would be like and if it did become true. I am always wanting to know, I dislike not knowing, it's as if that one thing I do not know will make or break everything I know. Everything matters when you do not know.
ding377 1 / 29 2  
Dec 30, 2012   #2
no matter how different these people might be from me they can be pretty similar to me reword so you don't repeat "me" twice in the same sentence.

It's better :) The only other comment I have is that you repeat the phrase "do not know" in the last few sentences. Try rewording them so it's not so repetitive.


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