Hey guys! Below is my essay for the Middlebury optional supplement. I am honestly not sure whether it is stupid or funny. Take a gander:
Please feel free to briefly share with us anything you would like us to know that is not otherwise covered in the Common Application (250 word max) -- my word count=213
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Don't know? Poker Face.
Here's another one: What is an existentialist's favorite type of music?
They say puns are the lowest form of humor. Which is true - indeed, they're the very foundation of humor, and one of the few that don't necessarily have to be at someone's expense. Not only are puns amusing, but their usage displays a fine mastery of language and a quick wit.
Not to toot my own horn, but I am an expert punster. Most weekends, you would find me furiously browsing online forums and guest blogs, analyzing the results of past editions of the World Punoff Championships, watching recorded episodes of 'The Simpsons' in slow motion, or re-reading the collected works of Shakespeare and James Joyce, trying to find every pun I can, glean every insight into the minds of master punsters. I have always sought to draw inspiration from wherever I can, and selflessly kiss my creations out into the world to benefit all mankind. And I must be succeeding. Why else would my best puns be met by ridicule, painful groans, and threats of physical violence? Could there be starker signs of unappreciated genius?
Thus, I must persevere. After all, not everyone can have my level of fauxpertise.