Hey everyone, I'm new to the forum.
and stuck on this essay...
Prompt:
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better. (2000 characters , at least 250 words)
I'm good at writing analytic essays and summaries but I have never been especially good at writing personal essays.
Anyways, here is my first draft. What do you think? Constructive advice would be tremendously appreciated.
Hi,
The first thing that I think you should know about me is that I love reading. Yes, I read books, words written on physical paper. Where I come from, people don't generally read anything at all, which is sad. Books are honestly just something else compared to a dull & lifeless computer screen or a Kindle, their usefulness notwithstanding. The sound of turning a page and the aged, hard smell of the pages themselves give me an indication of the knowledge and narrative waiting to be assimilated and enjoyed in the good old way.
I can't imagine a life without books and have in fact read quite a few books though I haven't the faintest idea of the actual metric. I've read books on a plethora of subjects and genres, from history to theoretical physics to epic fantasy to very old descriptions of early fractal art and if you were to look around my room, you would see some pretty ordinary objects, the study desk, the computer, etc. but under my bed lies my unseen storeroom of beloved books.
Other than reading books, I often visit the vast marketplace near my house. Not to shop, but to catalog all the shops, sorting them into groups according to alphabetical order, to their merchandise and to their location relative to the entrances and exits. This may seem quite eccentric, but the reason I do this is so that I can rest assured that when and if I need to find a specific thing, I can do so without having to run around the entire market all day long hunting for a random object. It just feels logical and efficient to spend the time cataloging beforehand instead of when you are pressed for time.
Well that's about it for now, I care about a lot of other things but this note can't possibly cover it all, so these are just some of the things I like to spend my weekends on. I look forward to meeting you and telling you the rest in person.
Reading for fun might not be a common idea where you live, but everyone applying to Stanford probably looooves loves loves to read. It will not make you stand out at all/make for a very drab read honestly.
I suggest writing about smaller quirks about you that represent bigger things. Like the cataloging bit is well done.
The last part is unnecessary--taking up precious space you could be using to expound yourself more-- I think you are taking the prompt a little too seriously!
very well written, but you might want to consider a different approach to the writing, other than that, it is really good!
