I have always been fascinated with the impact one can create through service in medicine.Growing up in a refugee camp where it was difficult to meet the basic needs,i have always been passionate about pursuing a career in medicine.
In our refugee camp,people couldn't afford to go to school and as a result,were very unaware of basic health knowledge.In retrospect,life in a refugee camp was absolutely dreadful.During monsoon season,our houses were battered by the rain.Not to mention,there was no heating system in the whole camp.In addition,we lacked warm clothes and blankets.Rain would wash away some of the crops we grew for vegetables and even killed our cattle.
It was very difficult to see my loved ones lose their life from common health challenges such as fever,tuberculosis, dysentery and snake bites.I developed a strong desire to fight poverty.I couldn't believe that poverty can do such things to human beings and i realized my dream and purpose of life is to serve as a medical doctor.
My aunt died because of an unsafe pregnancy.It was heartbreaking for me.I wept listening to her tragic story.I came to know about my family's past and my relatives from my mother.The refugee camp lacked a hospital,and there were no hospitals nearby.Many people would die from easily curable disease such as dysentery ,bug bites,pneumonia ,and other common ailments.Lack of education and superstitions led to the practice of medicine in the camps that was wholly inaccurate .For example ,when people felt sick,they would be sent to someone known as a "jumping doctor" who would use magic to cure illness rather than normal medicines.My own grandfather was a jumping doctor;however i believe that one cannot cure a disease with unscientific superstition and tradition.Such tragedies occurred due to lack of skilled doctors and lack of care as well.As i learned about those tragic moments in my family's life and relatives,i developed a strong desire to pursue medicine.I want to help my people and bring change in their life. I hope to become a neurologist so that i can go out to the world to help people and make difference in their life.I feel very blessed to receive an American Education and i am sure that it will help me to accomplish my goal one day.I have chosen to apply to the University Scholar Program in medicine at Washington University in Saint Louis because i am a compassionate,motivated and committed individual.I strongly desire to pursue in medicine to serve people.
You should review the separation of ideas by commas. You have some unnecessary commas, I believe.
Remember to capitalise "I".
I think you wrote an essay with a very nice topic. Nonetheless, please check some grammar mistakes that make sentences confusing.
A nice detail you could add is where this refugee camp was located.
Good job!
