Three years ago, I had an opportunity to my visit hometown in China, after almost a decade apart. It was a small town in southern China, hemmed in by mountain
You left the description of the location hanging. Include a description or the names of the mountains that hem in the small town in China. What is the name of the small town? You need to give a detailed description that includes the name of the town. The first paragraph is too short for an introduction.
Liangshan, China in the summer.
- This should be worked into the first paragraph as part of the description mentioned earlier.
It on that hot summer day that
- It
was on that hot summer day...
The title should also be changed from "Lucked Ou"t to Locked Out because you were prevented from getting to the school. Luck had nothing to do with it.