Macalester is a community that includes people from many different backgrounds

Macalester supplement 2017

This is my answer for the Mac 2017 supplement. Please feel free to provide any constructive feedback. I may have made grammatical errors here and there; if you find any, kindly highlight. Thank you in advance!

Q) Macalester is a community that includes people from many different backgrounds. Please write an essay about how your background, experiences, or outlook might add to the Mac community, academically and personally.

"But why India!? You're a Pakistani, it's not going to be easy. Think twice." exclaimed my friend when I announced that I'm going to attend The Mahindra United World College (MUWCI). As feared by him, living in India as a Pakistani was never easy-- Banks denied me an account; retailers wouldn't give me an Indian SIM card-- Even after traveling the same route twice a year, I was greeted by hour-long interrogations from both Indian and Pakistani customs officials. For Indians, I was a hater. For Pakistanis, I was a traitor. But even after all the intimidation I had and still have to face, I believe that living the Indo-Pak conflict for two years was a daunting, yet an exhilarating experience.

From living and befriending with Indians to exploring a few cities in India, I realized that Indians and Pakistanis are twin siblings who can't stand each other-- they speak the same language, they look alike, they both eat Dal and Chapati for supper, and most eminently, they are both governed by the leaders who exploit the Indo-Pak conflict to get elected-- I believe that living in India for two years allowed me to see the Indo-Pak conflict from a different lens; It is not a territory which I am destined to abhor, rather it is a home away from home. And experiencing the true essence of Indian society has compelled me to delve deeper and care about the issue. It has provided me with an ideology and enthusiasm to try and find a solution for the political tensions between the two neighbors. I believe I can contribute academically to Mac community by organizing the discussions on Indo-Pak conflict. I will invite other Indian, Pakistani and Kashmiri students at Mac to participate in the dialogues. This will not only put all perspectives' on the table but it will provide audiences' with a deeper understanding of the conflict by listening to first-hand experiences. Another way of informing the student body about first-hand experiences of the conflict as well as contributing to Mac Theater Season is directing skits on Indo-Pak conflict, where I may show the cultural and socio-economic loss which both countries had and still have to face as a consequence of partition.

I believe that I have experienced the Indo-Pak conflict in a way that very few people from both sides of the border have; that is why I have a very idealistic perspective on the issue. And that is a major reason why I aspire to major in International Studies with a focus on Asian Studies because I believe my unique background will help me to bring in a refreshing perspective on Indo-Pak relations both in and out of the classes. Lastly, I believe that my experience of living in India will allow me to bring a new dimension to the diversity and internationalism on campus because I am standing between the Wagah border-- accused of being a hater and a traitor-- who is a minority in both India and Pakistan.

Hi, I enjoyed your essay. It seems to address the prompt well. It seems odd that your would say you have an idealistic viewpoint because you have first hand experience with the conflict. Usually I find people are idealistic at first when they do not fully understand the problem, but eventually become more realistic {or hopefully not cynical} as they become more enmeshed in the intricacies of the situation. Here are some specific suggestions:

As feared by him { "As he feared" sounds better to me }

To Indians, I was ... to Pakistanis, I was ..

From living and befriending with Indians - {this needs to be rewritten, because you live with Indians, but you befriend Indians, no "with"}

conflict through a different lens

to the Mac community

put all perspectives on the table {no apostrophe}

provide audiences with a deeper {no apostrophe}

on Asian Studies, because

bring in a refreshing perspective

Maddy, your essay is creating a racial divide on paper. You are only looking at the small picture here in relation to your own race and discriminatory situation as based on your home country experiences. That is not going to be the case in the USA. You will be dealing with a diverse but inclusive college community that looks for peace and harmony across all races and nationalities. In this instance, your essay sounds like you are not going to be all inclusive in your participation in the Mac community.

Academically, you may wish to collaborate with your classmates regardless of their background, but personally, you have just placed a divide between you and the rest of of the community as you focus on solely the Indo-Pak conflict even when you are in a country whose population is not directly involved in the conflict between India and Pakistan.

You need to leave all racial and discriminatory discussions at the door and instead, focus on your experieve as MUCWI scholar. Talk about that experience (without the conflict involved) and what made it memorable. What was the positive side of that experience and how can you help to spread the same positive experience among the diverse population of Mac? That should be the more acceptable discussion for this prompt.