What factors have led you to consider Mac? Why do you believe it may be a good match and what can you add to Mac community personally and academically?
The website was what sparked the initial interest. It was the first college website that I liked because it gave two different types of information- what was happening in the college from classes to sports and information that a prospective student might want to know, like how many students do internships or that students come from 94 countries. After reading through all the "Why Mac" articles and about the Twin cities, I knew I had to visit Macalester to see if the atmosphere in the campus matched the one described on the website.
Participating in Macalester's Fall Sampler Extended program in September gave me the chance to learn more about the students, community, and neighborhood and city. I was able to sit in Intro to Linguistics where students were trying to define time with three different philosophies. And in First Year Seminar class: A Journey Into Latina/o Literature, they discussed The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao and afterwards I was inspired to read the book and loved it. The teachers encouraged thoughtful conversation and were not afraid to have fun with students and prospective students. I even felt comfortable enough to participate in one of the classes. And when I wasn't in a class, I saw that there was truly something for everyone and that students could choose from a wide range of activities. During the day students would be studying or relaxing. And during the night they played and de-stressed. I joined the fun at Fritters and Critters- a midnight event where you stuff an animal and eat an apple fritter and at Bingo Movie Night.
With Macalester's diverse community I hope to share my passions and hobbies while gaining new ones along the way. To de-stress and relax I would join a game club to share my favorite board and video games or KAADAAT to continue to learn to dance. And to broaden my views while sharing my thoughts and opinions on the world and cultures surrounding me, I would join one of the many cultural, political, activist clubs, such as No labels, Feminists-In-Action, or Adelante! I would join Mac First Aid to promote safety among classmates, faculty and staff while finally having a chance to learn CPR and First Aid. Musically I would love to serenade the campus with new-found bagpipe skills or with my improving guitar skills.
And during class, I would share my perspective formed by going to an all-girl's school as a teenager, being raised in a Mexican culture, and from a love of reading that still persists. I would also help my classmates if they ever come to me with a question.
Sorry the prompt is: What factors have led you to consider Macalester College? Why do you believe it may be a good match, and what do you believe you can add to the Mac community, academically and personally? Feel free to draw on past experiences and use concrete examples to support your perspective.
In the first paragraph, see if you can be a little more clear in your specification of the "two types of information", it kinda blends together... but maybe it's just me XD
Participating in Macalester's Fall Sampler Extended program in September gave me the chance to learn more about the students, community, and neighborhood, and city
I was able to sit in Intro to Linguistics where students were trying to define time with three different philosophies. And in First Year Seminar class: A Journey Into Latina/o Literature, they discussed The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao and afterwards I was inspired to read the book and loved it. This section is the tiniest bit awkward in phrasing. Maybe try to combine the two sentences (make the second part more concise if you can) so that you don't have to begin a sentence with "and". If that doesn't work, maybe try to add some introduction to the second sentence?
During the day students would be studying or relaxing. And during the night they played and de-stressed. Connect these two sentences with a semicolon so that it becomesDuring the day students would be studying or relaxing; during the night they played and de-stressed.
The ending was slightly abrupt as it seemed like a list of attributes and things you would do rather than a developed conclusion. If you are ok on the word limit, try to add a line or two to really close up the essay.
Be careful about starting sentences with "And...". I noticed it a few times throughout the essay and it would just seem a little more eloquent if you could introduce the line or tie it in with a previous line. Just a suggestion!
Overall you do a good job of answering all parts of the prompt and portraying yourself as someone who is genuinely interested in this school :) I hope my comments helped even the tiniest bit, good luck!
This was the first thing that struck me: "The website was what sparked the initial interest. It was the first college website that I liked because it gave two different types of information- what was happening in the college from classes to sports and information that a prospective student might want to know, like how many students do internships or that students come from 94 countries" That is more than two types of information and it all blends together. I couldn't tell if you were going for one piece of broad information, or multiple little pieces of information.
fritters and critters...no error there but that's awesome
"And to broaden my views while sharing my thoughts and opinions on the world and cultures surrounding me" way too long and confusing, I would just put "And to broaden my views" put the part about sharing your culture with the mexican heritage part
With the words you cut out above, you can end with a bang. The last sentence is too dull, perhaps end with something about your mexican culture
Good luck!
In the first paragraph, see if you can be a little more clear in your specification of the "two types of information", it kinda blends together... but maybe it's just me XD
I too think so. Also, I guess other colleges too talk about their current activities and other stuff as Macalester does. So, you need to be more specific as to how Macalester's approach was more appealing to you.
It was the first college website that I liked because it gave two different types of information- what was happening in the college from classes to sports and information that a prospective student might want to know, like how many students do internships or that students come from 94 countries.
I feel it is good if you improve clarity of this sentence....It sounds a bit too crowded. Better you rephrase it.
