'made sacrifices in the past' - How will I enrich there community

This morning I had awoken feeling no different than the previous day, yet everything I knew and felt would change after the end of this day. Both of my children had been sick the previous night, I returned home on Wednesday night to return to precept for my ADN program I would graduate in one week. Despite that my mother was on her death bed I continued with obligations that required my attention. I had been working at this two year degree for some eight years; nothing would stand in my way to finish it. I had made sacrifices in the past but this sacrifice would be the hardest I have made. I awoke that afternoon to my phone blaring and the words no daughter should ever hear, "your mother had an event and she is unresponsive!" Immediately grabbing my shoes and shirt flying out the door...I was supposed to have been there Saturday night! I am flooding with emotions and anger at myself and the choice I made to stay home! Knowing all along I really hadn't had a choice my kids were sick and this person that was called a mother hadn't been a part of my life. Yet there I was flying to the side of a person that hadn't had time for me, hadn't called me on birthdays, and hadn't actually been at my wedding. My last words to this person that I had cried over for now thirty years were, "I forgive you." Angered at the way she was treating me after all I had sacrificed to be there, such as not seeing my children for a week, the happiness that last week of school should have brought, and also just the sleep I lost to see she received the best care available.

This alone speaks volumes to my commitment and sacrifices I am willing to make to obtain an education. My mother passed away four days before I graduated and I was at all but 2 classes before graduating. My education has never taken a backseat to anything; it is a priority in my life in which I take seriously. I might take a longer approach to it then I would like but it is lifelong commitment. I am passionate that I will enrich your campus with all of the experiences that have changed the person I am. I am dedicated, passionate and committed to obtaining my BSN.

Say, " yet I was unaware that everything I knew and felt was about to change" in place of the 2nd half of your first sentence.

Also, either cut out the part about your kids or re-incorporate it so that it doesn't sound like it was just thrown in somewhere. And replace "I am

passionate that" with "I fully believe that" in your last sentence. You have a really great
basis for a paper, just some minor editing is needed. :)