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'made $20,000 through various websites' - Common App Essay for top Universities


theicfire 1 / 1  
Oct 6, 2009   #1
I've been working on this and I would like to know what you think. I am intending to apply to schools including Stanford and Harvard (if this matters). I'm afraid that this might be too boastful, what do you think? It's also kind of long, is this OK? Can I shorten it up in some parts? The prompt I'm choosing is:

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Thanks for the help!

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By the end of 8th grade, I had made $20,000 through various websites, but I wasn't particularly proud of it. To make this money, I brought in visitors by paying for advertisements on the web, and then put advertisements on my own site that paid much higher. With the right conversion rate, I profited off of this imbalance at expense of both the visitors and advertising companies. Some say that success occurs when opportunity meets preparation. At the time, I didn't believe this. What if I was purely lucky? Even worse, what if I wasn't lucky? What if I had done everything right, and it worked? Would all my accomplishments feel trivial? Will I never be content with myself? Ironically, making the money had actually prompted torrent of self-sabotaging questions. I was confused and I had to find a concrete answer on the extent of my web developer abilities. I decided to make a new website that would only be successful because of my work, not my luck.

After 6 months of work on my new proof-of-concept site PureContactTables.com, I reached my goal. When I saw it, my jaw became limp, dropping the worn pencil lodged between my teech. My eyes widened and my eyebrows raised. I checked and rechecked. Realization slowly crept in- PureContactTables had become #1 for the Google keyword "myspace contact tables". This ranking soon equated to about 7000 unique visitors and $30 a day with little to no maintenance.

I knew that this time I wasn't lucky. I had made sure to stay clear of my previous strategies, which meant never paying to advertise the site anywhere. I had worked hard and the evidence was solid: #1 for the keyword which I was aiming for. When I had started my endeavour of making PureContactTables, my main goal was to prove to myself and the world that I was a good web developer. However, I didn't forsee how it would change my outlook on life. I now know that I am not just average. I am rightfully my own person, that does not just fit into society. Before PureContactTables, I hung out with the "cool" kids, and I tried to be just like them (including playing football with my 5'2" frame). After my PureContactTables, I dropped my insecurities, old friends, and football, and made new friends by joining Ultimate Frisbee, Track, and Cross Country. I took classes consisting of students entirely out of my grade, instead of ones with people I knew. I began participating in community service, even though I couldn't get my friends to go with me. I even got to know my teachers on a much deeper level, instead of being intimidated.

Although I am extremely proud of PureContactTables, I generally withold most of my achievements from others. I have only told three students at my school about my web endeavors, whom had specifically asked. My class rank, too, is kept secret from others. I keep these aspects about myself hidden because they are not what define me. I am not afraid to share this information to someone who I am trying to impress (like a an employer), but to my friends, I am Chase, the friendly Ultimate Frisbee player.

While I won't refute the fact that I rejoiced at every penny I made, the true reason for making the sites was intrinsic: it's fun, engaging, and challenging. From the $30,000 that I made in those few years, I have only spent $3,500 on a car from craigslist. I have invested the rest and plan to use it on college expenses and a summer to backpack around the world.

I sold the site on September 17, 2007 for $9514 after estimating that the site had reached its peak. Although this is only half of what I had made previously, the lessons learned were invaluable. Remarkably, PureContactTables is still ranked #1 for "myspace contact tables" and is relatively unchanged except for a slew of advertisements that the buyer put up.
blacks 1 / 2  
Oct 7, 2009   #2
Thank you for the suggestions on my essay! They were really helpful.

I think this is a really good essay and a very interesting story. Just a couple things:

Your sentence "I am rightfully my own person, that does not just fit into society." sounds a little funny. Instead maybe try switching that does not just fit into society with who does just not fit into society.

Also the part where you write about dropping your old friends and insecurites after PureContactTables is a little fuzzy. What exactly about the experience made you decide to do these things?

Otherwise it looks really great... Good luck!


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