Prompt:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
From the time I was born, I was considered the "weird" child. I was the girl who liked green onions over chocolate, finger-painted with glue, and put stickers all over herself. I also had quite the obsession over disposable cameras. Whenever I received a new disposable camera, I always felt that rush of excitement that every child gets Christmas morning. With just a push of a button, I was able to capture a moment in time. "Magic" was the first thing that popped into my naďve little head after the surprise of the first flash. Even though in reality this little device was just a piece of plastic, it meant the world to me.
As I grew older, achievements in sports and academics were in the spotlight, while the artsy side of me stayed in the shadows. It was not until I was injured during Cross Country season did my love for photography really start to show. Every race that I did not run, I would be at the finish line capturing the expressions of relief as my teammates used every bit of energy they had left to finish the race. My friends were shocked by my keen ability to capture such intense moments. Soon, I had people asking me to take pictures of them. Eventually, I had the opportunity to take pictures for other sports and events. I even had the opportunity to take pictures for our yearbook club; a club I'm not officially part of. I am thrilled that I will be able to look back at my senior year and take pride in the moments I captured; I will be able to relive that priceless feeling of success.
When I look at the pictures I have taken, I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that no one will ever take that specific picture ever again. No one will have the same angling, lighting, emotion and thought that I put into each individual photograph. The pictures I have taken capture who I am today. They are the moments I have lived and the memories I will never forget. I have always had that artistic eye, and I will always be the girl who sees the "magic" in every photo.
I have another topic for the same prompt and that's Working with Special Ed. Kids. Tell me which one would go better with my other essay, please?
All criticism appreciated. I know this essay is long from perfect. :P
finger-painted in the glue
-???
I was able to capture a moment in time
- Just want to say, nice sentence!
"Magic" was the first thing that popped into my naïve little head when I held that strange contraption
-try wording it better
As I grew older, my achievements in sports and in my academics were in the spotlight
-take out "in my" before academics.
while the artsy side of me stayed in the shadows. No one ever knew the artsy side to me.
-try wording it better; you used artsy twice really fast.
During every race I was not running, I was at the finish line capturing the expressions of relief as my teammates used every bit of energy they had left to finish the race.
-"Every race that I did not run," "I would be at the finish.... reword.
Soon afterwards I had people asking me to take pictures of them
-take our afterwards.
I even had the opportunity to take pictures for our yearbook club; a club I'm not officially part of
-"I even had the opportunity to take pictures for our yearbook" this still emphasizes your point in less words :)
Good essay. Hope I helped
Good luck on your admissions!
Regards~
