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Major decision to choose a university - why swarthmore essay


college_seeker 5 / 6  
Jan 8, 2009   #1
Prompt: Why Swarthmore?
Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.

There are many reasons why I decided to apply to Swarthmore. My rationale for applying to Swarthmore includes features that in Swarthmore that easily makes it stand out from any other college that I have seen. When I visited Swarthmore a few months ago, the first thing that caught my interest upon walking into the campus was a beautiful and extensive arboretum, which stood out among all of the other arboretums I had seen at other colleges that I visited. I immediately started imagining the various ways of which I could take advantage of such a large campus that was situated, quite literally, in the middle of Mother Nature. When I got to the information session, I learned that Swarthmore had exactly what I was looking for in a college.

Swarthmore has the most flexible system of education out of any other colleges that I have seen. I admire the consortium that Swarthmore shares with Penn, Bryn Mar, and Haverford that allows students to take classes that aren't available at Swarthmore. This opens the doors for tremendous academic opportunities that I can easily take advantage of as a Swattie. I have always been known as a hard-worker, especially when it comes to my school work, so having this variety of choices in regards to what classes I can take truly satisfies my thirst for conquering the next challenge inside the classroom. Swarthmore's reputation as an extremely academic college matches up with this aspect of my personality.

Another facet of Swarthmore that stood out to me is its extraordinary diversity. This is usually sparse at a selective institution of higher education such as Swarthmore. I have always felt that it is extremely important to be able to interact with people from all over the globe, mainly because of the fact that the job market is getting increasingly globalized day by day. One of the inherent advantages of attending Swarthmore is that the diversity that I will experience will give me an advantage over my peers when competing for jobs in the marketplace. I will have had the experience of interacting with people from all around the planet, which is becoming more important now than it was even twenty years ago. This is why diversity was one of the primary attributes I was looking for in a college and I definitely found it at Swarthmore.

I can also appreciate that the administration at Swarthmore truly values the input of their students, even to the point where there is a student representative who is responsible for providing a student perspective before the university makes any major decisions. This is yet another attribute that stood out at Swarthmore among all the colleges that I had seen. This is extremely important to me because I desire to have at least some input on any major decision that the university would be considering. I think that it's important for any institution of higher education to seek student input before making any major decisions that would affect the slightest aspect of my education and that is exactly what Swarthmore does.

I also know that Swarthmore truly cares for its students' well-being. The financial aid policy that Swarthmore has recently adapted can be seen as more than sufficient proof of this. Student loans have always placed a great deal of stress on students, both when choosing an institution of higher education to attend and even after graduation. Swarthmore could have chosen to spend the endowment that they used to eliminate student loans on additional advertising, but the fact that they utilized their endowment to eliminate student loans from financial aid packages speaks volumes on how Swarthmore truly cares about its students' well-being, even after graduation. Now I will be able to pursue graduate school studies after graduation, without having to worry about debt that I would have incurred from student loans. Swarthmore makes this aspiration of mine possible. As I establish a strong foundation for my future career, Swarthmore will prepare me for the real world academically, socially and financially.
zowzow 10 / 175  
Jan 8, 2009   #2
wats the word limit?
OP college_seeker 5 / 6  
Jan 8, 2009   #3
there's not really a word limit.. i just need someone to look at it and go through the grammatical mistakes.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 8, 2009   #4
My rationale for applying to Swarthmore includes features that in Swarthmore that easily makes make it stand out from any other college that I have seen.

I immediately started imagining the various ways in which I could take advantage of such a large campus that was situated, quite literally, in the middle of Mother Nature.

Swarthmore has the most flexible system of education out of any other colleges that I have seen.

I can also appreciate the fact that the administration at Swarthmore truly values the input of their students, even to the point where there is a student representative who is responsible for providing a student perspective before the university makes any major decisions.

As I establish a strong foundation for my future career, Swarthmore will prepare me for the real world academically, socially and financially.
nice last sentence!

Improve this by looking at each paragraph and jotting down the main idea, and then giving a sentence in the intro paragraph that conveys the main ideas expressed in the essay. This will wrap it up and keep it all... threaded together.

Great essay. Good luck in school!

:)
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 8, 2009   #5
And then, when you've taken the other poster's suggestions, go through and cut ruthlessly. Once you have the essay down to about half its current length, it should be really strong. At the moment, though, it tends to ramble on. An example of how you can fix this:

"When I visited Swarthmore a few months ago, the first thing that caught my interest upon walking into the campus was a beautiful and extensive arboretum, which stood out among all of the other arboretums I had seen at other colleges that I visited." could easily be rewritten as "Upon first visiting Swarthmore, I was struck by the beautiful and extensive arboretum, which was unlike any other I had previously seen." Given that the revised version uses "was" twice, this could probably be boiled down even further, but you get the idea. You can go through your entire essay revising like this.


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