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major in Special Education - University of Illinois Essay-Freshmen Admissions


bearsfan85 1 / -  
Aug 5, 2010   #1
I would appreciate it if my essay could be read for grammar, and for any constructive criticism.
Thanks for anyone who takes the time to read this and to offer suggestions..it really is appreciated:)

U of I Essay One: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your educational interests and/or professional goals.
My essay is exactly 300 words so i am hoping to either keep it right a 300 or to trim it down, I don't know how serious they are about the word limit. Well here it is...

If give the opportunity to attend the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, I plan to major in Special Education because I feel an obligation to help special needs children. My interest in a becoming Special Education teacher has always been with me.

As a child growing up, I had problems learning how to read. However, after getting help from caring teachers I began to read. The teacher who helped me learn how to read gave me the confidence to excel in school, and I too want to share that confidence with special needs children. Even though, I do not have a learning disability I am able to relate to kids who do have learning disabilities because I know how it feels not knowing being lost in class, while everyone else is steadily learning. My youngest brother, John, knows this feeling too. My brother has learning disability that has inhibited him with the reading level of a third grade student. Watching my brother struggle to learn how to read has made me want to help special needs kids with their educational goals.

Whether it is teaching special needs kids how to read or teaching them life skills I know that this something that I want to do. I am thankful that I do not have a learning disability and have the ability to read. Yet, children like my brother are not as fortunate. However, I believe that with a teacher who cares, children can exceed no matter if they do or do not have a learning disability. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is right for me because I can get a Special Education degree in the best Special Education Department in the country, which will allow me to achieve my professional goal of teaching kids with special needs.
zengrz - / 92  
Aug 5, 2010   #2
I feel an obligation to help special needs children. My interest in a becoming Special Education teacher has always been with me.

I think this is a bit long here; either one of the two will do.

because I feel an obligation to help children with special needs.

OR

because my interest in a becoming Special Education teacher has always been with me.

~~

Maybe a little bit of a preference matter, I prefer "As a child" to "As a child growing up".

~~

However, after getting help from caring teachers I began to read.

"However" is probably a bit strange here, maybe:

Fortunately, I received help from caring teachers...

~~

Watching my brother struggle to learn how to read has made me want to help special needs kids with their educational goals.

Watching my brother's struggle has motivated me to help more children with special needs to pursue their education (why?)

~~

children can exceed no matter if they do or do not have a learning disability.

children can shine regardless of their learning abilities. (why?)

~~

I think you can trim of cut the last sentence to elaborate more on the contain. Personal preference though.

G L ~
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 5, 2010   #3
...because I know how it feels not knowing being to be lost in class while everyone else is steadily learning.

My youngest brother, John, knows this feeling too. My brother has learning disability that has inhibited limited him to the reading level of a third grade student.

This is just a suggestion to make the essay sleek and powerful:
Watching my brother struggle to learn how to read has made me want to help special needs kids with their educational goals.--- taking out extra words

I think you should take out some sentences that repeat the same idea you already mentioned, like these: I am thankful that I do not have a learning disability and have the ability to read. Yet, children like my brother are not as fortunate. However, I believe that with a teacher who cares, children can exceed no matter if they do or do not have a learning disability. Cut these sentences to make room to talk some more about your philosophy of education, your opinion about special education reform. Read a little about special ed. so you can comment on the issues. For example, google this: special education reform arguments

... the best Special Education Department in the country, which will allow me to achieve my professional goal of teaching kids with special needs.--- is it really the best? If so, that is a great reason to want to go to this school. Yet, I think you can describe a little more about what you plan to do during your time there. You can be much more specific about your philosophy of education and your ideas about learning disabilities.


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