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"major in unafraid"- this is my BARNARD essay

sarahadams 11 / 22  
Oct 25, 2011   #1
When people ask each other what they are majoring in, people normally give a will known major such as sciences, art, math, and history. One of the most important thing to learn in life is to "major in unafraid". To "major in unafraid" is a metaphor that is used to try to encourage people to challenge their minds and learn how beautiful a challenged mind is. Being a senior in high school I am in the process of learning the basics of majoring in unafraid due to all my activities, responsibilities, and school requirements. It hasn't been a day where I had not learned something, whether it's a math problem, learned how to say hi in a different language or even learned love. Taking extra classes to challenge my intelligence makes me feel confident in the way I speak and present myself. By understanding what Anna was saying I hope that I get accepted to Barnard College with the desire to explore and discover more about myself, community, and the world.
epd101 1 / 1  
Oct 25, 2011   #2
The content is great! I really like how it conveys it's message on a personal level!

Just a few technical errors I noticed:

"thing" in the second line should be changed to "things" because so your verbs and nouns agree.

"It hasn't been a day where I had" should be "There hasn't been a day where I had"

Formal essays should not have conjunctions in them such as "it's" and "hasn't". It is better to just say "it is" or "has not".

The "whether it is a math problem" might sound better with "whether it be a math problem"

Great essay, and good luck!

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